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[personal profile] exohousewarming
Prompt number: #5
Title: You, Who Came from The Belly
Pairing : Luhan/Xiumin
Side Pairing(s) : slight!TaoHun, slight!KrisHo
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): male pregnancy
Word Count: 2,245 words
Summary: Minseok and Lu Han know that parenting isn’t easy. Parenting is an art. They need to be patient, diligent, and extra careful. But they didn’t think that it will require so much creativity, especially to find the safest answer for an unexpected question.
AN: this is nothing but a mess. I want to apologize to the prompter because I just completely ruined their lovely idea. But final grade of high school is crazier than EXO’rdium, I even considered dropping out from this fic fest. BUT I DON’T WANT TO LET GO OF THIS PROMPT TT^TT. In the end, I magically completed this fic in the night of first check-in. I wrote this is an unbelievable rush, so I really am sorry if this isn’t that nicely written as expected. Loosely inspired from IISuperwomanII’s video named “Indian Parents Explain How Babies Are Born”. I wish you all enjoy this fic fest in general!



(/¯3¯)/\(¯Ԑ¯\)


It was a perfect morning. Sun shone just right—bright enough to make it sunny, but not too much as to make it unbearably hot. Minseok stared at leaves and grasses that whirled softly in eddies of gentle breeze. It was peaceful and silent, just like how Minseok liked it.

He was stirring his cup of coffee and humming to himself when he felt a pair of slender arms wrapped around his tiny waist. Minseok smiled. How his morning was completely perfect.

“What are you doing, love?” asked the voice behind him sleepily, half mumbling.

“Preparing my morning coffee,” he replied. “Isn’t it obvious, Han?”

“I mean,” Lu Han put his chin on his husband’s shoulder. “Does it have to be this early?”

“It’s not that early. It’s almost eight.”

“But today is Saturday, Minnie! Do you even know what weekend is?” he whined childishly. Minseok can practically felt his pout when his husband purposely pressed his lips against his neck.

He chuckled and reached his hand out to caress Lu Han’s locks affectionately. “Then just go back to sleep, silly. You came home late last night. You deserve more rest.”

“I can’t,” now he nuzzled his nose in the crook of Minseok’s neck. “I woke for an empty space beside me and it’s cold and I need to cuddle,” he sighed exaggeratingly. “Tell me why I married a morning person.”

“Tell me why I didn’t marry a morning person,” Minseok said back good-naturedly.

Lu Han hummed, as though he was trying to figure out the answer for that rhetorical question. “Because I am way too manly and irresistible, so you can’t help but fall for this lazy guy?”

He smaller man couldn’t stop grinning at this point. “Maybe you’re right. But I’m sure you should add that that lazy guy is somehow so lucky to have me.”

“The luckiest on earth,” the Chinese whispered on the other’s ear. Slowly, his arms turned Minseok around until the tiny guy was facing him. “So, can this lucky guy get his morning kiss now?”

Minseok giggled and smacked Lu Han’s upper arm playfully. “No! I bet you haven’t brushed yet.”

“Brush can wait, but this,” he slipped his hands again and let them wander all over the other’s body. “You know, I’m without your kisses, I’ll be needing stitches.”

Other people would surely cringe with this doe-eyed man lame words, but Minseok was his husband for nearly six years. He just laughed along.

The Chinese kept staring hopefully and Minseok just didn’t have a heart to turn him down. Then he promptly closed his eyes and leaned in for an innocent peck.

Unfortunately, the word ‘innocent peck’ didn’t exist in Lu Han’s dictionary. Once he saw the green light, he abruptly reached out and enveloped his tiny lover in his embrace. In a second, he dipped down for a kiss that was anything but innocent.

Minseok let out a small squeak of surprise with this sudden move, but after recovering from his mild shock, he soon reciprocated the kiss just as passionately.

Gradually, the morning kiss turned into a hot make out session. If anything, Lu Han was someone who couldn’t keep his hands to himself. Within a minute into his kiss, Minseok found his perky ass being groped with not-so-subtle touch.

“H—Han..,” the smaller began to be breathless.

Suddenly a high pitched voice interrupted their business. “I want a morning kiss too!”

Lu Han jumped—quite literally, while Minseok frozed. They were too engrossed with their own little world until they didn’t notice this tiny creature walking into the kitchen at all.
“Se.. Sehun?” the oldest managed to stutter.

“I’m awake too, Appa! Where’s my morning kiss?” the five years old boy demanded.
Putting his embarrassment aside, Minseok kneeled down to give his son a peck on this chubby cheek and motioned his husband to do the same. Lu Han did, but before he could pull away from Sehun, the boy grabbed his wrist with his stubby hand.

“Baba?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Did Appa’s butt itch? You were scratching him back then,” he asked with an innocent tilt of head.

Lu Han wanted to die right there and then.

“Um.. that… yes, baby, Appa’s butt itched so badly. I did that to you too, right? Back when you complained your back itched? Yeah, that’s it. Uum.. why are you awake so early, by the way?”

“Baba!” Sehun pouted cutely. “You promised to bring me to the new toy store in the city today! Did you forget it? You didn’t, did you?”

“Oh! Of course not, Hun. I just… well, didn’t expect you to wake up before eight and…”

“Okay, boys,” cut Minseok, as always coming to rescue his husband for further self embarrassment. “Since you woke up earlier than our plan, why don’t you two go washing up and I’ll prepare our breakfast. Maybe we can be the store’s first costumers today.”

Sehun squealed in delight with the idea and ran toward the bathroom. Before Lu Han made an attempt to follow suit, he passed an apologetic look for is husband which Minseok returned with “no more morning kiss outside our bed room” and a death glare.

(/¯3¯)/\(¯Ԑ¯\)


Sehun, had washed up and changed into more presentable clothes, bouncing excitedly on his seat. His stubby hand grabbed his Thomas and Friends spoon and stuffed a spoonful of cornflakes to his mouth. Both his parents adoringly watched him munched his meal happily. Out of a sudden, the five years old jerked, as though his tiny head remembered something.

“Oh, Baba! Appa!” he exclaimed.

“What’s up, dear?” Lu Han responded.

The boy made unintelligible noise as his mouth was still so full of cereals. He tried his best to swallow as fast as possible.

“There, there, slow down, baby,” his Appa chuckled.

Sehun finally succeeded and said, “I have something really important to ask!”

The parents raised their eyebrows in unison, prompting their son to ask away.

“Yesterday,” Sehun began. “Mr. Zhang brought a pile of books to class. They’re all so colorful and had super cool pictures. He read a number of them for us.”

“Ah, that’s so nice of him,” Minseok said. “What were those books about?”

“They’re about animals and their babies. Mr. Zhang introduced us to piglets, chicks, kittens, puppies, and cubs,” he paused for a moment to gulp on his milk. “Our class discussed a lot about that, but then Jongdae asked a brilliant question. I think he is quite genius.”

“What did Jongdae ask?” piped Lu Han curiously.

Sehun smiled wide before answering, “he asked Mr. Zhang ‘where do human babies come from?’.”

Minseok choked on his morning coffee and coughed furiously.

The Chinese was bewildered as well, but he didn’t show it. Or, at least, that’s how he thought. He didn’t realize that he grew a bit paler, but fortunately nor did their son. “Uh, well, what an unusual question he asked. So, umm, how did Mr. Zhang answer it?”

“That’s what I want to ask right now, Baba. Mr. Zhang said he didn’t know since he hasn’t had any baby yet. He suggested that our parents must know better,” Sehun explained. “So, Appa, Baba, where do babies come from?”

Fuck you, Zhang Yixing, Lu Han mentally cursed. He knew his gentle and caring old friend from college wouldn’t have a nerve to teach an early sex education for this bunch of toddlers, and Lu Han also knew that somehow this was parents’ responsibility to explain such a dangerous matter like this. But he couldn’t help but blaming Yixing for not knowing better than bringing books about babies. Kids around Sehun’s age are very fond of questions like ‘where this thing come from?’ and ‘what that thing is made of?’. He should have brought books of Chinese foods and Lu Han would be gladly explain how to make baozi and I fu mie.

Lu Han glanced at his spouse, but Minseok was in no state to give help. So he cleared his throat awkwardly. “Babies… they come from… um..,” he stopped. “Belly.”

“Belly!” shouted Sehun. “I came from belly?”

“You did,” confirmed his Baba.

“Whose belly?” he asked again.

“Mine,” said Minseok suddenly. He looked composed by now and smiling gently to his son.

“Five years ago you came to this earth from my belly.”

“Wow,” his lips formed a cute ‘o’ shape. “How could I be there, Appa?”

“Both I and Baba prayed so hard to God, and God sent you to us and a blessing,” he explained, and seemed so satisfied with his own answer.

Sehun was deep in thought for a brief second. “Can you pray again, then? I want to have a baby brother.”

“It’s not that easy, Hun. It has a long process,” Lu Han let those words slipped out from his lips before realizing it and almost yelled when he felt a powerful kick under the table landed on his leg.

And of course the young man had heard him. “Process? What process? I want to know, Baba!”

The Korean man threw him a look that said “you deal with it, idiot” and Lu Han could only stared back helplessly.

“Baba, what’s the process to have a baby?”

“Uh…,” Lu Han considered lying, but no, he was too manly to lie. He was determined to explain this super sensitive topic to his half a decade old son as vague as possible without lying. He took a deep breath. “Do you remember the wizard story I read for you last week? How do witches and wizards make their potions?”

Sehun thought. “They mix gross things inside a big pot.”

“Exactly. That’s quite similar from how we make a baby,” the Chinese said. “I mean, Appa was right, God did send you to us. But before, God wanted to see us putting more effort on this baby making process. So we followed God’s instructions and mixed some stuff inside Appa’s belly. In the end, we got you.”

“What’s this some stuff?”

This boy is too curious for his own good, he groaned mentally. “It’s liquid,” he cringed at his own choice of word. “Yeah, we mixed water inside the belly. Uh, that was… my special water? Right, so that’s why you’re our son. Because we mixed my special water inside Appa’s belly.”

Sehun nodded in amazement. “That’s cool, Baba. I understand it now,” he smiled his bright smile.

“You’re so smart, Sehun. You’re definitely our son,” praised Lu Han. He seemed so proud to himself for successfully answering his child unexpected question.

But it was just too soon to think the conversation was finally over.

“But how did you put that special water inside Appa’s belly? Did Appa drink it?”

“Oh, no, son. We didn’t put it through his mouth. There’s another hole—”

“ENOUGH!” Minseok boldly cut his husband’s sentence. His face was crimson red.

“Another hole? What’s that hole? Is that nose? I don’t think it’s quite possible.”

“It’s… it’s belly button! Yes, it’s belly button, dear,” answered Minseok this time. He wouldn’t let Lu Han’s big mouth speak anymore.

The five years old frowned slightly. “That’s weird. I can’t put anything through my belly button.”

Gifted as a story teller—or simply a natural liar—Minseok explained with his own way. “Well, Sehun, of course you can’t put anything through it now. You don’t have the key yet.”

“Key?” Sehun asked, clearly interested.

“Yes. Look at Appa and Baba’s fingers. We have the matching rings, don’t we? That’s the key of my belly button. When you reached a certain age, you will get married with someone you love, and you two will be having the matching rings. You need to have rings if you want to make a baby. This means, you can’t make babies with just anybody. You can only make babies with someone you truly love. With the one you married with,” Minseok smiled in the end.

“Okay,” he said, nodding again. “Can I marry Zitao and make a baby with him? I love Zitao.”

Certain age, Sehun. Five is not certain age yet,” answered Lu Han, helping his husband. “Now, let’s finish our breakfast?”

“Yeah, the toys are waiting,” agreed Minseok.

The boy looked quite content with all answers he got and continued spooning his abandoned cornflakes.

(/¯3¯)/\(¯Ԑ¯\)


On Monday night, the atmosphere at Wu’s residence was warm and lovely. Yifan was just back from his long business trip to Beijing and immediately welcomed by his loving husband, Junmyeon, and his cute son, Zitao. The little family was finished enjoying their dinner, and Yifan thought this was the right moment to catch up with his beloved son. After all, he had been so busy lately to know how much Zitao had grown.

“How was school today, Tao?” he asked.

“It was great, Baba!” Zitao replied cheerfully.

“What was so great, huh? You look especially happy tonight.”

“I am,” he said. “Because today Sehun told me that when we are at certain age, we’ll marry and have matching rings to open my belly button so he can put his special water inside my belly and we can make a baby together. By the way, Baba, when will I be certain age?”

Yifan’s shock was disturbed by a loud noise of broken glass from the kitchen. Junmyeon who had been listening to that father and son’s conversation accidentally broke a china platter he was wiping. And maybe a small coffee cup.

(/¯3¯)/\(¯Ԑ¯\)


Date: 2016-09-12 02:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olympianlove.livejournal.com
Omg, LUHAN!! I can't. I practically had to skim over the part where Luhan explained that part to Sehun because things got real awkward.

"Special water"

HAHAHAHA LUHAN IS NOT BEING VERY SUBTLE IS HE? He should learn from Minseok 😂 This was a really funny fic, a great one to wake up to. Thank you so much author nim for helping wake up 😂

Date: 2016-09-12 05:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlestfrosty.livejournal.com
Tears? What? Crying? What is life? I laughed so much with this one! It was so cute! Like, I was cringing kind of at the "special water" part, but it was just so funny that I nearly busted a gut.

The whole thing was just a nice thing to read and get your spirits up, so thank you for that! (P.s the last bit with Kris had me absolutely rolling on the floor)

Date: 2016-09-12 05:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jungwhee.livejournal.com
This was SOO FUNNY OMG. "Special Water" I was laughing so hard Luhan please leave all the explaining to minseok in the future. I almost fell off my bed at "Anothe hole" just shut up omgsisksndm I loved this it was so cute! And i loved the end too with kris omggg
Thanks for writing this~

Date: 2016-09-13 01:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jezzhappy.livejournal.com
OMG this is so cuuuute, im dying ahvsjdksmsjslsjdbdj

Date: 2016-09-13 04:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fidafied-30.livejournal.com
LOL LUHAN you have a responsibility to explain what special water is later so sehun lmao
good thing minseok was there to save the convo before luhan gone too far hahaha

Date: 2016-09-13 06:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] m-riefkohl.livejournal.com
Oh my god Luhan LOL
“But how did you put that special water inside Appa’s belly? Did Appa drink it?” omg stop! u don't wanna know X'D
I laugh so much haha! this is so GREAT and FUNNY! Great work!! :D

Date: 2016-09-13 10:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] taniasshi.livejournal.com
Im laughing so hard at luhan's explanation HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.


Typical luhan indeed.



What a truly brilliant fic. I love how you put word by word especially those all explanations how human babies are made 😂😂😂😂

Date: 2016-09-13 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] chuggieee.livejournal.com
Oh this was great, zitao at the end was perfect and i wouldnt doubt that similar situations happened in real life minus the mpreg.

Date: 2016-09-15 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] oishiiii.livejournal.com
I laughed so much at the 'special water'

at luhan the butt scratcher :)))

This is so cute and sweet at the beginning. :)
Thank you for making me laugh :))))

Date: 2016-09-19 02:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rosevic87.livejournal.com
Omg XD poor krisho when Tao told what sehun told him XD this was super cute! I hope school is going well too. Thank you for writing this even with your hectic schedule!

Date: 2016-09-24 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] falafalafel.livejournal.com
hahahaha parents always get the end of the stick either by having to explain or having someone else ruin it completely.... luhan, expect a visit from Zitao's parents soon

this is soo fun to read!! i enjoy it a lot

Date: 2016-09-28 10:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] baldybodhi.livejournal.com
I think this would happen for every family and parents around the world, like how to explain to your toddler about how to make babies.

It was funny tho, really funny actually. Special water, luhan, how could you.

Thank you author nim for writing ☺☺

Date: 2016-10-16 06:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 202226 (from livejournal.com)
Hahaha i just cant stop lauching at how much innocent a babyhun is

Date: 2016-10-28 08:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sekaihunn.livejournal.com
OH MY GOD!! THIS IS SOOOO GOOD :D

LUHAN 😂😂😂😂

The ending is killing me, poor krisho babies 😂😂😂😂😂

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