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exohousewarmingPrompt number : 142
Title : We Can Learn to Love Again
Pairing : Baekhyun/Chen
Rating : R
Warning : Language?
Word count : 8924 words
Summary : Maybe getting married at a young age wasn’t the best of ideas.
Author note : I’d like to thank first of all the prompter for this wonderful prompt. I hope I did it justice in your eyes. I wish it was longer, but I’d rather give you something worth reading. I’d like to thank the mods for letting me join this fest (my second so far) and I had fun with this prompt, so thank you for letting me have it! I apologize for any mistakes that happen to be there. It was early in the morning when I proof read this so there might still be some in there. As always, give lots of love to all of the fics in the fest, not just mine!
It was a summer shotgun wedding, more or less. No extravagant dresses or tuxes. No bouquet of flowers that cost them both their paychecks to have someone to make. And no four-tiered cake that had little figurines of them on top holding hands. The wedding was perfect though. Just the two of them, the Justice of the Peace, and both sets of parents. Jongdae would say that the best part of the entire wedding would have been putting Baekhyun in his lap on the Harley and heading to the airport for their honeymoon in Wales. Baekhyun would ignore Jongdae and say something cheesy, like saying their vows was the best part. (That’s what they told their friends as soon as they got back from Wales.)
‘Why so young? You have a full life ahead of you! Party! Get drunk! Smoke weed I don’t know! But why get married right after graduating high school? Isn’t that a bit too much?’ Joonmyun worries the bottom of his lip as he talks to his two best friends as they sit across from each other at Denny’s. There they sit, hand in hand and Joonmyun can tell both of them are wearing their silver wedding bands.
‘Myunnie you know this! We’ve been dating for four years! After four years don’t you think it’s time to tie the knot?’ Jongdae smirks. Joonmyun groans and rubs his hands all over his face, officially giving up on his friends. Chanyeol comes by to half sit on his boyfriend’s lap and half sit on the booth.
‘Congrats guys, I’m proud of you. Now where are my god kids?’ Baekhyun rolls his eyes, Chanyeol can be so demanding sometimes.
‘Chanyeol we haven’t even been back from our honeymoon for two weeks and now you’re asking this shit? You greedy bastard.’
‘What can I say? I’m excited, I’ve always wanted to be an uncle or a god father. Yoona’s too busy playing paparazzi to realize my needs!’ Chanyeol drapes himself dramatically over the table. If Jongdae didn’t move his precious milkshake in time, he would’ve lost it. A shame it would have been, really. ‘So now my only hope is you guys.’
‘Chanyeol have you ever thought of having kids yourself?’ Baekhyun steals his husband’s chocolate milkshake and chugs it down. He knows he’ll be regretting it later.
‘I have. But the mere thought of having kids terrifies me. Borrowing them is so much better.’ Chanyeol says, matter-of-factly while squishing his face into the table.
Jongdae pouts at the loss of his milkshake, and flags down his waiter to bring him one more. Something different this time, something that Baekhyun hates so he won’t take it again and possibly kill his digestive system later. Strawberries? Yeah, he’ll go with strawberries.
Joonmyun takes a few swigs of his water and plays with the menu. ‘How will you guys do it? Going to school and being married I mean. You two are sharing a town home, and working full time to keep it.’
Jongdae slings an arm over his husband’s shoulder and takes his strawberry milkshake from their waiter. ‘We’ll make do. Isn’t it the whole point of living together and being married? Figuring each other out? Sure, I know we’ll have ups and downs. But that’s what makes this whole thing worth it.’ The older sighs at Jongdae’s words. Hopefully, Jongdae is right.
It’s the start of their first semester in school, and Jongdae can’t contain his excitement. He had classes this morning and Baekhyun had to get ready for work. Not only did he wake up early and abandon the warm morning cuddles, but he plastered kisses all over Baekhyun’s face (the side that wasn’t consumed by a pillow that is) and left his grumbling husband in the bed to make breakfast. He was in the middle of chopping bell peppers for omelets when Baekhyun emerges from their cave, cowlicks in his hair and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. The night shirt that he’s wearing is Jongdae’s Ironman shirt and Jongdae licks his lips. As much as he would want to take his husband while wearing his Ironman shirt, food is more important. Pouring a cup of coffee for his beloved, Jongdae kisses his lips.
‘Good morning, Princess Aurora.’ Jongdae cackles in laughter and barely misses Baekhyun’s pinch to the side.
‘Hurry up. I’m hungry. And make sure there’s bacon or ham in it too.’
Jongdae can only smile as his husband takes a seat at the bar.
He drops Baekhyun off first, their only transportation is Jongdae’s Harley (for now at least), and kisses his husband good-bye after Baekhyun slides off the motorbike. ‘Have fun at work! Tell all of the lovely cosmetic people I say hi!’ Jongdae kisses him again for good measure, pulling back and eyeing a man around their age smoking a cigarette checking Baekhyun out from head to toe. Mostly staring at the younger man’s ass. He had to be twenty-four, twenty-five perhaps if Jongdae had to guess. The fucker. A feeling that Jongdae thought that he would never encounter again bubbles to the surface. Caressing Baekhyun’s right shoulder with his left hand, Jongdae kisses Baekhyun’s cheek again, hoping Mr. Tall Creep and Blonde will get the memo. Nope. So Jongdae kisses Baekhyun’s left hand, making sure that the ring gleams in the sunlight. Now he’s got it.
‘Jongdae stop trying to be possessive. That’s just my manager, Yifan.’
‘Why the hell is he checking you out? And why the hell is he out here?’
‘That first question I can answer for you. He’s looking for a good ass to fuck. He knows he can’t have mine, because I told him before we left to tie the knot I was engaged, that can’t stop him from looking though. You know how single men are around the age of twenty-five.’ Baekhyun chooses to ignore the obnoxious possessive look in Jongdae’s eye. ‘That second question is because he’s on his smoke break. He’s here early to remodel the floor and takes his break around this time.’ Jongdae can’t help the jealous and stingy feelings that he has when it comes to Baekhyun. He doesn’t doubt his husband will stray from him. He worries that others will take advantage of his kindness. That’s all. Yeah.
Jongdae chews his bottom lip and relaxes his shoulders in defeat. Perhaps he’s being a little too overprotective? Nah, it’s okay. Baekhyun’s probably overreacting, again. ‘Go clock in. Look good. Make lots of money.’ Jongdae’s lips curl in a smile. With another roll of his eyes, Baekhyun waves him off. Not without another kiss of course. Jongdae stays until he sees his significant other through the door, a small smile on his face. Yifan nods back at Jongdae, taking a long drag out of his cigarette and Jongdae can only scowl. Revving the engine of the Harley to life, Jongdae tears out of the parking lot.
His first class wasn’t so bad, filled with one or two old high school friends who also decided to take the Advanced Mandarin course. Day one was considered ‘boring’ in most students (read: Baekhyun’s) books, but Jongdae really enjoyed learning about his professors. He liked the class and the professor, really. Professor Zhang preferred to be called by his first name, Yixing, and he has a child of his own, Zitao. Two pictures sit on his desk, one of his family and one of his son, Jongdae admires that. Yixing also had forewarned them that he had graduated but a year ago, and Jongdae had spoken his mind saying that it shouldn’t be a problem. After taking a few moments to go over the semester, Yixing plowed right into lecture.
It’s a struggle getting pages and pages of notes into his Mandarin book while trying to walk from building to building on campus. Two five paged papers hand written already due for his Mandarin class, Jongdae can already feel the stress that’s about to take over for the next forty-eight hours. He’ll manage though.
His second class is less than exiting, however, and it’s math. Jongdae hates math. Ever since he couldn’t memorize his multiplication tables right in third grade, math has been a struggle for him. The worse part was it only got harder. Rushing into the classroom, Jongdae starts to wheeze as he places his Mandarin book on the desk and organizes his belongings before putting the textbook away and replaces it with a monstrous Calculus book. Fuck math.
He's the only one in there for now, except for his professor who’s typing away at his desk top. She greeted him once he entered, but nevertheless was continuously typing as she brought her attention to Jongdae. He fishes out his phone to send Baekhyun a text. It’s nearing lunch, and Baekhyun won’t have a lunch break until two, but the thought still counts, right?
Text me when ur on break. Miss u.
The moment he sets his phone down it pings. I’ll be off in thirty. This surprises Jongdae, Baekhyun rarely takes early breaks. Aren’t you supposed to be in class?
Jongdae snorts. Im waitin for class to start, lol. I had mandarin this morning and now i have math.
Ooh, fun. I’ll text you later, I gotta go okay? Love you.
His heart flutters as he reads Baekhyun’s text. Love you too. He plays with his wedding band as more adults file in through the door way, picking a seat mostly towards the back, Jongdae feels put out for picking a seat near the front, but he didn’t bring his glasses today and if he sat back there his eye sight will kill him.
Between the droning from Professor Victoria about boring ass equations and occupying his mind by doodling on his graph paper, his phone vibrates again. Luckily, Professor Victoria is one of those professors who doesn’t care if a student has their phone out. You paid for the class, it’s not my financial aid that gets fucked over if I fail this class. She reasoned. A good point, Jongdae might add.
You still in class? Oh, precious Baekhyun,
i am. i wish i wasnt. class is boring as shit
Aw I’m sorry my love. I had just wanted to tell you that I was able to get off early. I spoke to Yifan about needed to get the new townhouse in order and he volunteered (Jongdae wants to bless that man now. They’ve been in their new house since they’ve been back and the house still isn’t unpacked.) so I’ll be taking the metro home. I’ll have dinner ready to go by the time you get back so you don’t have to spend money out :)
Has Jongdae mentioned he loves it when Baekhyun texts emoji’s? Well, he does, because his husband never uses emoji’s. Like ever.
ur so sweet darling. i knew there was a reason why i kept you. what time are you leaving?
2, so when your next class starts.
Jongdae if his next class wasn’t one of his favorites, he’d skip. But then he’d hear it from Baekhyun- Skipping on the first day isn’t the wisest thing to do my love. So he’ll stick out his Music Ed class and get home to Baekhyun in time to eat before his shift starts at the restaurant.
Amber is a boisterous professor. Loud, obnoxious, easy to get along with-one thing that Jongdae likes-but is excellent at what she does. She also has a crazy memory. Amber knows ninety percent of the class after she calls roll. She’s not much older than them, mid-twenties, is all she told them, nothing more. ‘You never ask a lady her age, Joonmyun.’ She picks and prods at Jongdae’s friend for the rest of the day. Jongdae plays along with her. They start easy, learning the basics of the piano-Jongdae should know. He’s played keyboard and piano for both the band and orchestra in high school. At one point he picked the tenor saxophone that he put down to play piano back up again and sat at the head of his row. Which made two tenor sax players at the time, he and Chanyeol. Chanyeol was put out when Jongdae returned, and is still butt hurt about it until this day.
They go through simple routines, arpeggios and scales-both major and minor, to get the new comers in the swing of things and returning piano players back in shape. The group goes through different times, tempos and snippets of musical pieces (Tchaikovsky will always be Jongdae’s favorite). Through transitions Jongdae checks his phone to see if Baekhyun has texted him to see if he made it home, which he hasn’t. He grows worried, looking at the time it’s nearing three. Jongdae goes through the routes in his head to get an accurate time of which Baekhyun should have made it home, the taxi drive to the town home and all. He should have been there by now. Joonmyun can sense Jongdae’s anxiousness on the piano bench next to him. ‘Jongdae what’s wrong?’
‘Baekhyun should have been home by now, he said that he got off early-at two-and would take the metro home. It takes twenty minutes on the metro from the boutique to our side of town-including stops and another ten from the city to the town home in the suburbs. How isn’t he home?’
‘Jongdae there’s probably a lot of traffic.’
‘On a Monday?’
‘You can never know with these things Dae. An accident might have disrupted their route or the metro is taking too long to board people. I’m sure there’s a reason Jongdae.’
Jongdae nods to his friend, absentmindedly going up and down his major scales in break neck speed, but his eagerness and anxiousness doesn’t let up.
Class ends and Jongdae nearly flies out the door. ‘Jongdae.’ Amber’s word is short, soft, like she wants to discuss something personal.
Jongdae wants to die. ‘Yes, Professor?’
‘Please. Amber. Calling me professor reminds me that I graduated four years ago. Tell me, what’s troubling you. I saw you were talking to Joonmyun while almost beating the shit out of my piano while trying to go through your scales.’
‘My husband just didn’t let me know if he had arrived at the house or not. I’m sure he’s made it and forgot.’ Jongdae’s smile is tight lipped. Amber senses Jongdae’s anxiety and stress like Joonmyun had.
‘Well…alright. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I don’t need a student have a meltdown on the first day. For my sanity and theirs as well.’ Amber smiles, as she sits Indian style on her desk.
Jongdae genuinely laughs. ‘Thanks prof-Amber. I need to get home, please? Just so I can make sure that he’s okay.’
‘I’m sure he is Jongdae, don’t stress so much.’ She eyes him as Jongdae slides on his leather fingerless biking gloves. ‘Be careful going home okay?’
‘I always do Amber.’
Jongdae may have went ten over the speed limit down the high way to get back home. Their university was in the city, but their home was ten minutes from town and he made it there in five. Or four. Jongdae wasn’t looking at the clock as he hit eighty. Bursting through the door he barely hangs his back pack on the wall hook and toe his shoes off as he fumbles into the kitchen to see Baekhyun frying fajita’s on a skillet. Bakehyun jumps to see Jongdae rush in. ‘What the-Kim Jongdae what on Earth is wrong with you?’ He yells when Jongdae collides with him. One hand caressing his back and one hand gripping his side.
‘You didn’t text me when you got home so I thought something happened…’
‘For Christ’s sakes Jongdae I was busy unpacking! That was the whole reason why I asked to get off early in the first place, honestly do you think I would be stupid enough to let something bad happen to me?’
‘No but-’
‘But nothing my love. You have been acting strange today since you saw Yifan. Tell me, what’s on your mind?’
Jongdae curls into Baekhyun even more, following his movements as Baekhyun reaches to turn off the stove and let the peppers, onions, and steak cool down a bit before eating. ‘Nothing baby, I’m just…overreacting, I guess.’ Jongdae mumbles into the junction of Baekhyun’s neck and shoulder.
Baekhyun knows that prying things out of his husband will get him nowhere. He leaves it alone for now. ‘Okay my love.’
Jongdae says nothing, just rubs his gloved hands under Baekhyun’s shirt, feeling, caressing his skin. He needs this security of touching his husband. ‘Let’s eat.’ Jongdae pulls away and smiles, again, tight lipped but a smile nonetheless. Baekhyun knows something is chewing at Jongdae’s mind. He’s made the same face before when Jongdae would shut his feelings inside himself.
‘Fine, then we can shower so I can get ready for class and freshen you up for work.’
This seems to lift Jongdae’s spirits. ‘You had me at shower.’
Baekhyun laughs and slaps Jongdae’s chest. ‘You insufferable man.’
With bellies full and bodies (mostly) clean, Jongdae is in the middle of buttoning up his shirt for work, a nice deep teal today, and tucking it in his pants when Baekhyun sneaks up behind him to smack his ass with a belt.
‘Hey!’ He yelps.
‘That was for Wales, when you thought it was hilarious to smack my ass outside of that pub and you had all the drunken grandma’s wolf whistling and hollering.’
‘Ooooh about how I needed to do it again so I did but it was to the other cheek and they were asking if we were going to…how’d they call it? Do the do?’
Baekhyun hangs his head in defeat, and sighs. ‘Yes.’ He leaves the room, but not without another blow to Jongdae’s ass, leaving the black leather belt on the bed.
Jongdae smiles, wondering what he’s gotten himself into. He slips his belt through the loops of his slacks and walks out of the bedroom. He spies Baekhyun curled on the L-shaped couch with three fuzzy throw blankets and Jongdae’s Slytherin themed mug of steaming hot chocolate. Baekhyun has a little bit of down time before his classes start. Rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, Jongdae reaches down to peck a chaste kiss on his husband’s head and noses at Baekhyun’s cheek. ‘You’re watching The Sorcerer’s Stone again?’ Jongdae chuckles at the pout he receives.
‘It’s my comfort movie, so what?’
‘I’m only teasing, God, have fun tonight in class. Text me please when you get there.’ Baekhyun can see through Jongdae’s smile. He’s worrying.
‘Don’t worry, Dae. I’ll send you a text message.’ He doesn’t know what’s gotten into his husband today, but he needs to get to the bottom of it.
Kissing Baekhyun one last time, Jongdae walks into the kitchen in the next room over to grab the Harley keys off the hooks and bellows out, ‘I love you Baekhyunnie!’ and slams the door shut, knowing Baekhyun has his eyes rolling.
Jongdae’s normally not like this. This bubbly feeling that one minute Baekhyun is going to leave him for someone else. He doesn’t want to put it all on Yifan’s encounter, but somehow, that triggered something dark in Jongdae’s brain that had been tucked away for years. It’s been weeks since Jongdae’s strange behavior, and it’s only increased as days went on. Baekhyun notices that everything that Jongdae does is a little more possessive, a little clingier. See, prior to their marriage, Baekhyun and Jongdae had no fights, no talks about cheating or one leaving the other without having a long discussion before breaking their relationship apart. Jongdae knew that Baekhyun wouldn’t leave him for The male cheerleader of the cheer squad, no matter how much Baekhyun would be in the stands of the football game, clinging to his clarinet like his life depended on it and would squeal in Jongdae’s ear as Jongin or Sehun would score yet another touchdown. ‘Look at him Dae! You can clearly see Zitao’s biceps through the long sleeve shirt, holy Christ!’ Baekhyun knew that Jongdae wouldn’t leave him for Yongguk, no matter how many dance, piano or vocal recitals they went to, completely wooed over how ‘His fingers fly over the piano keys’ as Youngguk effortlessly recalls a Beethoven symphony or how his body moves on stage- ‘Oh my god did you see those body rolls?’- with the dance class. There wasn’t any room for discussion because no matter how much the two boys would gush about their crush; they would always stay true. It’s been weeks since the incident with Yifan, and Jongdae has went up to the man willingly and apologized for his behavior, but something still can’t shake off Jongdae. A dark and familiar feeling rising in his chest.
Why, after four years of being together had they not worry about this? Why after four years had they not have this discussion? Is it just certain insecurities that somehow surfaced? Or is Jongdae truly scared that Baekhyun will disappear if he finds someone better than Jongdae? It eats at him in the middle of music class. Fingers itching to reach his phone so he can text Baekhyun but he knows he can’t. Baekhyun isn’t on break and Amber won’t give them one either. For an hour the class has been plucking at guitars, and Jongdae still can’t get the chord progression right (he’s never been good at the instrument, Chanyeol’s tried to teach him in their free time but he and guitar don’t mix. His anxiety isn’t helping.) Amber keeps him on his toes, whenever he dives for his phone in his backpack she calls on him to try and play a few warm up bars in their beginners’ book. Five minutes later, he’s still unsuccessful. He does get a break after class, seeing that Baekhyun did text him; sent him a picture that is. He’s holding the phone at an adorable angle that shows the ramyun he’s eating and the middle aged woman who runs the noodle shop down the road from their place. He’s wearing Jongdae’s favorite lavender polo shirt with khaki’s and a dark brown belt to match. He’s too cute. Baekhyun texts him again. Auntie told me to say she misses you, says she says I look strange without you by my side. Jongdae grins from ear to ear and starts to type out a reply when he gets another message. She’s pulling a Chanyeol, she’s demanding kids. At this Jongdae laughs. They’ve been regulars at her shop since they moved into their townhome, and she’s been nothing but kind to them. ‘Seeing a young couple happy is so rare these days, I enjoy it while I can.’ The children she has left without a trace, going out of the country and never talking to her again, so, she claims the young wedded couple her own. Tiffany has expressed each time they come in if they need someone to talk to that isn’t their friends or need some advice, she’ll be more than happy to lend an ear. A light goes off in Jongdae’s head. Perhaps she will have an answer to his dilemma.
Snapping fingers bring him back to reality. ‘Oh good, I thought you were a goner for a long minute there.’ Amber’s beautiful face graces his view-a little too closely he might add and Jongdae’s startled.
‘Yes?’
‘You were so deep in thought I had to break you out of it. I was starting to worry I was going to lose you.’ Amber’s smile catches Jongdae off guard. It’s radiant and Jongdae wonders if he’s noticed how admirable she is before.
‘I’m having troubles.’ Is all he says, trying to keep up with his brain process that he thought that his professor is gorgeous.
‘Hubby troubles?’
‘Something of the sort. Say, you’re a beautiful woman, have you been in multiple relationships?’ Maybe Amber will lend him a hand so he won’t bug Aunt Tiffany later. And yet he might still go see her, just to keep her company. Amber blinks multiple times before answering.
‘I have, why the sudden interest.’ It takes her a moment to process. ‘Don’t tell me you’re leaving Baekhyun and want to start a life with me! Honestly Jongdae,’ she places a hand on his knee. ‘As drop dead gorgeous as you are, we both know that we’re not straight, so please, don’t try.’
Jongdae’s laughing before Amber can finish her soap opera, ‘No, Amber, I’m not. Actually, I was wondering if you could help me sort something out.’ He takes her back to the first day of school, the encounter of Yifan and the darkness that has been prodding at him since then.
Amber nods her head in recognition of this. ‘You’re insecure Jongdae, that’s all. The jealousy and possessiveness you show each day-the constant texting or calling, the holding of hands in public-you’re terrified that he’s going to leave. That one day he’s going to find someone that he sees is better than you and go. You’re so insecure that you need physical reassurance.’
Jongdae doesn’t know what to say. How could she pin point that just like that? ‘How can you tell?’
‘Like I said I’ve had multiple relationships. I was the one to hold on to the girls too tight, but Jongdae I know you want to be good to Baekhyun, to protect and provide, but, holding him too close could be the downfall, it was for me. The only thing that concerns me is that an insecurity like this doesn’t just come from one encounter, it has to come from a previous relationship. Tell me Jongdae, what happened in your relationship before Baekhyun?’ And so, Jongdae opens up the floodgates.
He gets home right before Baekhyun has to leave for school, he has the night off, so he has the rest of the evening to worry about pretty much nothing. Except the pile of laundry that’s slowly morphing into a mountain at the corner of their room. Jongdae makes a mental note to get started on that. His eyes are swollen and nose is clogged. He told his professor a side of his past that he hasn’t told Baekhyun yet, hell even Joonmyun or Chanyeol. So many bad memories of her and how she built his walls up just to tear them all down and leave him for the biggest jackass the junior high school has ever known. Jongdae had attempted the tears to stop, to go away, but he knew just as well as Amber that it was to be expected, and she lent a shoulder for him to snot and cry on. Hugs included.
Baekhyun tumbles out of their room in a haste, panic written all over his face and barrels into Jongdae’s chest without a warm welcome. ‘You didn’t text me back after class and it’s been two hours since school ended. Honey what’s wrong?’ Concern is etched into every crevice of Baekhyun’s face and Jongdae wills himself not to burst into tears again. He moves his hands to cup Baekhyun’s face and kiss the mole on his husband’s upper lip. It is one of Jongdae’s favorite things about the love of his life. Kissing Baekhyun on the lips, Jongdae pulls him into a long, well deserved hug. ‘I was talking to one of my professors. I asked her what I should do for our one-month anniversary coming up and she suggested a few things.’ He tries not to sound congested when he inhales.
‘Why do you sound cloggy? Your chest sounds heavy like you’ve been crying for hours. Fuck Jongdae, did planning our one month really take a toll on you? I don’t want it to be stressful on you. I know our school schedules and work schedules don’t mix so it’s already stressful but come on Jongdae-please, don’t make it any harder on yourself. Your constant anxiety can’t take it. I don’t want you to go through another attack. Not after the last one.’ It’s Baekhyun’s turn to cup and hold Jongdae’s face, peppering kisses all over his husband’s face. He wants to talk about his insecurities with Baekhyun like Amber had advised him after his snot fest, but he knows that the wounds of his past relationship are too vulnerable. He needs them to heal before opening them up again. It won’t hurt as bad.
‘Baek it’s been years since my last attack. I’m okay I promise. Amber’s suggestions were must helpful, so I might go with one of her ideas.’
‘Why can’t you come up with your own?’ Baekhyun cackles.
‘Hello? Were you not here for the past four years? We’ve done everything I can think of. I’d ask Joon or Chan but they’re too busy trying to sex each other on the regular I give up on them. Someone older is easier to get advice from.’
Baekhyun rolls his eyes as Jongdae’s lame excuse. ‘I hope Amber’s advice is good enough to woo my pants off.’
A dinner date, to one of the finest restaurants in town, followed by…well…Baekhyun isn’t sure what Jongdae has planned next. He told Baekhyun that he needed to dress a little formal, nothing too professional but the restaurant they will be going to is indeed, classy.
‘I don’t see why you’re fretting. It’s just a dinner date.’
‘To a really nice restaurant that will cost one of Jongdae’s paychecks.’ Bakehyun practically screams into the phone. Kyungsoo has to hold his phone away in order to not blow his eardrum. ‘I don’t know why Jongdae has been so…protective of me lately. Before the wedding we had no problems, we would give each other space and would be fine but now he’s practically attached to my hip. And now, he’s spoiling me. He knows I can’t stand to be spoiled.’ He sits on the edge of the bed, digging his palms into his eyes after putting Kyungsoo on speaker and setting the phone down next to him.
‘Kim Baekhyun you’re over reacting. Jest accept the really fancy dinner that he’s taking you too, shit, if Minseok took me out to a fancy dinner once in a while that would be fantastic.’
‘But you have kids, Kyungsoo, you have a legitimate excuse not to go out, I would be fine with a romantic dinner at home, the cliché spaghetti and wine combo you know? I just don’t know what’s got into him thinking that we need to go out on fancy dates.’
Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo’s rolling his eyes. ‘Perhaps you should ask him. The two of you know that you two can’t afford something like this. If his clinginess is bothering you on top of that you need to talk to him. Just being together won’t sort itself out on its own Baekhyun. Minseok and I have been down that road as well. So please, just talk to him.’
Kyungsoo’s right, all he has to do is sort things out with Jongdae and everything will be okay.
Baekhyun can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. It’s tension that’s coiled in his gut and it won’t let go. He sits at the table for two, Jongdae had ordered a glass of red wine for himself and a glass of white for Baekhyun. Baekhyun finds it endearing that Jongdae doesn’t even have to ask what Baekhyun would like anymore, he just knows. Anxiety nips at Baekhyun’s heels and he just wants to talk to Jongdae to get this over with but at the same time he knows he can’t. Tonight is supposed to be a night sans drama. He was able to hold himself from blurting out anything related to drama through two courses, he can last one more. He collects himself, and wills the uneasy feeling down as Jongdae spoon feeds him another bite of tiramisu. Another of Baekhyun’s favorite.
Staring into Jongdae’s eyes he knows there’s something boiling inside his husband’s brain. He can read Jongdae like a book. The anxiety in Jongdae’s eyes is unnerving and he knows that Baekhyun knows that something’s troubling Jongdae. He tries to distract himself with his wine. ‘Jongdae, tell me.’
Wringing out his hands nervously, Jongdae places his hand over his beloved’s, his other hand playing with the stem on his glass. ‘It’s nothing dear, school’s gotten me all shook up that’s all.’ This doesn’t startle Baekhyun. Both he and Jongdae have been too busy throwing their heads in textbooks, they help one another study, which is a plus on Jongdae’s behalf, math and music theory have been a pain in his ass so far. Baekhyun knows that something else is up, the pressure and anxiousness etched on Jongdae’s fine features is an indication. Baekhyun doesn’t press it though. There is a time and a place for everything, Kyungsoo told him before hanging up that evening. Smoothing out the edges of his steel blue button down shirt (one of the many few that he owns), Jongdae fishes something out from his pocket and slides it on the table. It’s no bigger than a ring box, and Baekhyun can’t imagine why Jongdae would ever buy him another ring. Two was the number of rings that Baekhyun had wanted. And he got those two.
‘I know you like the cliché romantic dinners at fancy restaurants, and nothing more, but when I stopped by your work the other day before your shift ended, Yifan helped me pick this out for you. He said you had been eyeing it at the jewelry counter for a while now.’ Baekhyun knows exactly what he’s talking about. The silver bracelet that’s clasped together with an infinity sign and Jongdae’s birth stone with alternating diamonds are placed around the sterling silver. He knows what the price tag is on it too.
‘Dae, you shouldn’t have.’ Baekhyun was never one to get all emotional, especially over something as simple as jewelry, but he can’t help but feel the swell of love that bloats in his chest.
‘I wanted too. I know it was pricey but that’s why I was working later this past week so I could have that money to spend on you and your evening out. I want to spoil you for once, dammit.’ Jongdae breaks out in laughs.
Perhaps Baekhyun was overthinking things, about how Jongdae was being overprotective and shit. Maybe it’s just a kink in their early relationship that works out on its own because he knows that Possessive Jongdae would never go out of his way to treat him like this. Never in his life. Perhaps Kyungsoo is wrong, perhaps that if Baekhyun lets the situation be, in a few weeks, this whole showing out when other men are around or the controlling demeanor in bed will thin out.
He lets it be. For four weeks and Baekhyun has watched from the sidelines how Jongdae slowly changes his personality in public. He truly sees how Jongdae can get nasty for the first time.
It’s Jongdae’s twentieth birthday and he, Baekhyun, and a group of friends go out for a night of fun. They raid Jongdae’s cousin, Minseok’s house, who was all smiles and warm welcomes when the seven of them pile in, Baekhyun had extended the invitation to Yifan, he takes in consideration that the older male and he are close friends. Yifan has extended his hand to Baekhyun when the latter is doing his English homework on break. I know your husband hates my guts right now because he’s a jealous little shit, but I can’t stand to see a friend fail. Four beers and a shot of Patron later Baekhyun can’t really tell what was up from down. He feels sleepy, so he leans on the nearest person to his right and feels a long arm-What this isn’t Jongdae but I can’t complain because I’m comfy-drape around his shoulders.
His source of warmth and security leaves him in a heartbeat and he almost falls off the bar stool he had been leaning so hard. Muddled shouting rings through Baekhyun’s ears and he turns around to see his husband and Chanyeol having a face-to-chest shouting match.
‘Jongdae why are you freaking out it’s me, your all-time best friend and best man at your fucking wedding. Why the fuck are you accusing me of stealing your husband when he was the one who leaned on me because he’s trashed?’ Chanyeol’s cheeks start to burn, and he’s pretty sure that it’s not because of the alcohol in his system. It baffles him that Jongdae of all people would be jealous because Baekhyun leaned against him. Of all people, Jongdae should know that Baekhyun gets clingy when he drinks. He looks too far gone to care though. Minseok jumps from his seat to grab Jongdae by the arms, attempting to pull him outside, but Jongdae resists, having the need to jump Chanyeol.
It’s like the little green monster has permanently taken over. Fire burns in Jongdae’s eyes. ‘You wanted him this whole time fucker! Just like everyone else! I see the way you look at him. I bet you’d leave Joonmyun in a heartbeat because you think Baekhyun looks better than he does, doesn’t he? You think he’ll be better in bed, huh? Or do you want to win him over from me and make my life miserable just like how I lost her-’ Chanyeol shouldn’t get worked up over the nonsense that Jongdae is sputtering, but the rage in his chest doesn’t calm down and he doesn’t stop the fist from colliding with Jongdae’s face. As much as Chanyeol loves Jongdae, he also hates Jongdae too. The perks of being childhood friends.
Baekhyun gasps as he sees his husband hit the floor, Zitao pulls Chanyeol out to cool him down, Kyungsoo and Joonmyun in tow. Others rush to Jongdae’s aid and Baekhyun sits there, thinking. So this is what it was all about. Jongdae thinks that Baekhyun will leave him because he found someone better. He can’t believe it. He doubts Baekhyun will stay with him. Slipping down from the bar stool, he thinks of all the conversation that he’ll have with Jongdae, but his head is throbbing and it’s too much for his inebriated self to handle right now. His mind is swirling with thoughts of, Is Jongdae just saying this because he’s drunk or is it because he’s been having these insecurities since they’ve been back from the honey moon?
He leans against Lu Han, an abroad student who is studying early childhood education just like he, and sighs. The more he thinks about this situation the more his head pounds. ‘You need to take Jongdae home. Neither of you can walk so I’ll take you two okay? Just let me call Jongin really quick to let him know I’ll be later than planned.’ Baekhyun is thankful for his classmate. He leans off of Lu Han so the latter can make his phone call, and shuffles his way to Jongdae. Yifan had managed to pull him off the ground with one arm and keep Jongdae steady with the other. The moment Jongdae was on his feet he started swaying. Baekhyun huffs. Tonight is going to be a long night.
The car ride back home was quiet. Jongdae and Baekhyun sat in the back seat of Lu Han’s Jeep, Jongdae’s head in his husband’s lap, asleep. Before their departure, Baekhyun had apologized for his husband’s behavior, to the group really, he was ashamed that he let Jongdae get out of hand. His apologies were accepted, and Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun and Jongdae into a bone crushing hug. ‘I shouldn’t’ve let you get to me. You’re drunk and you don’t filter what you say, bastard.’ Jongdae says nothing, eyes blank and frown on his lips. Baekhyun hugs Chanyeol back, ignoring the growl coming from Jongdae, who earned a slap on the head from Kyungsoo. ‘Cut it out.’ Is all he says. He tells that to his four-year-old when she gets out of hand. Baekhyun has always loved Irene, they’re one in the same.
Baekhyun cards his fingers through Jongdae’s locks, scratching his scalp once in a while, and smiles a little when he sees Jongdae grin in his sleep. But he can’t help the tears that prick his eyes when he thinks of what the younger had screamed about. ‘Tell me why Jongdae acted like that tonight. He said something about a girl.’ Lu Han must be telepathic or something.
Baekhyun huffs out a short breath. It sounded like a laugh to Lu Han, but he knows better. ‘Yerim and Jongdae were a thing freshman year. You know how high schoolers are, especially at fifteen, nothing but gossip and rumors. Three months into their relationship, Jongdae was on cloud nine, he was so high on the thought that he had a girlfriend he ignored the rumors and gossip about Yerim sleeping with someone, someone close to Jongdae. It was their sixth month anniversary when Jongdae found the shocking truth that Yerim had, in fact been cheating on him. She snuck into Sehun’s pants after biology, Sehun was the most well-known playboy in the school you know, and Jongdae wanted to surprise her by showing up with all sorts of presents and caught them making out. Jongdae’s never been the same sense.’ Baekhyun feels like sobbing. He should’ve seen this coming. Yet, he was ignorant enough to push it aside.
‘Sehun…wait are we talking about Kyungsoo’s Sehun?’ Baekhyun snorts out a laugh.
‘Yes Kyungsoo’s Sehun. Ever since that day he’s never been the same either. Something sparked in Sehun that sleeping around will get him nowhere but trouble. And look where he is now.’
‘In a long term relationship and a daughter that gives a run for his money.’ Baekhyun pulls in a shaky breath. He remembers the bright grin Sehun had when he showed Baekhyun the signed documents for Joonhyun their senior year. He also remembers the day they brought her home. The day of graduation Kyungsoo picked her up from her orphanage after returning her paperwork, before the ceremony, and sat close to the graduates. Sehun had the surprise of a life time when Joonhyun called him from her seat on Kyungsoo’s lap.
His hand stops petting Jongdae in favor of remembering the last year of his high school. Jongdae’s lips pull down, sensing that the comforts of Baekhyun fingers through his hair has stopped. Baekhyun grins sadly and starts again. I’m sorry my love for not talking about this before. It’s put a strain on our relationship and I was too stupid to ignore it. He leans down to kiss Jongdae’s head.
Getting Jongdae from the Jeep to the house wasn’t the problem. Getting Jongdae changed and on the bed was. Baekhyun claimed that he didn’t need help getting his husband out of his Kraken smelling clothes and onto their king sized mattress, but in reality he did. Jongdae weighs just as much as a baby elephant when he’s sleeping, and Baekhyun can’t figure out why. He never has. He looks like he weighs nothing but yet now Baekhyun can’t lift him up off the floor. Throwing Jongdae’s favorite soft blanket over his body, Baekhyun leaves his husband half naked on their bedroom floor.
Maybe he’ll wake up and realise he’s on the floor.
Wouldn’t that be something.
Tucking a pillow under Jongdae’s head Baekhyun has the urge to kiss Jongdae good night. But he doesn’t. Too much is swimming though his mind, too much to take in and too much to file through. He slouches on the couch after leaving his other half to sleep, he’ll call work in the morning to let them know his husband is sick and needs to be taken care of. Simple as that.
When he picks up his phone, a message sits in his inbox. I talked Daehyun into picking up your shift tomorrow. So don’t worry about it. Just focus on your Green Goblin induced husband, don’t be too harsh on him okay? Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Yifan is a life saver sometimes, he sends a message back telling him thank you, and that he owes both he and Daehyun lunch sometime.
Baekhyun doesn’t sleep that night. He sits in the recliner, dramas on the T.V but he doesn’t pay them any mind. He turns the silver wedding band on his finger over and over, thinking of how he’s going to talk about this with Jongdae in the morning. He can’t be rude, as much as he wants to be. To tell him how hurt he feels that Jongdae would think that he’d leave just like his first love. He wants to yell and cry and tell Jongdae that he’s a moron for thinking such things, but he can’t. He won’t. He loves Jongdae too much to act like that. At some point he questions himself, was Joonmyun right? Did they marry too early? Should they call it off? Try again when they’re more mature about being committed to themselves? Baekhyun also wonders if it’s really worth it going through all of this pain. Who’s to say if they fix what’s broken, that it won’t happen again. It terrifies Baekhyun. He has to make a decision. He has to make it fast. It’s early in the morning when Baekhyun peels himself off the couch, knowing that Jongdae’s head will be in pain when he wakes and will need care. Grabbing two chilled water bottles from the fridge and a bottle of pain killers, Baekhyun makes it back to their room. Jongdae’s already sitting up, head in his hands and shoulders shaking. Baekhyun can’t hear the sobs escaping his mouth, but he knows better than that.
He’s quiet when he makes his way over to Jongdae, a gentle caress of his shoulders Jongdae jumps and looks over his shoulder, Baekhyun melts. The redness in Jongdae’s eyes is a sight that he never wants to see. His nose is pink and Jongdae does his best to wipe the snot and tears off his face. He knows. He remembers what he shouted hours ago and it tears Baekhyun apart.
Jongdae opens his mouth to speak. He has to apologize for his behavior last night and make his relationship right with Baekhyun. Before he could get the chance to speak, however, Baekhyun snaps open the bottle of water and tilts it against Jongdae’s lips. ‘Come on, you need to rehydrate. Let’s get you showered, doped up and fed before we talk about anything.’ Jongdae drains the first bottle before taking any pain medication. He pops three pills, crushes the last bottle, and lets Baekhyun help him up off the floor. Jongdae shouldn’t need to be babied, he can hold his own.
‘I can do it, Baek please, let me walk.’ Letting go of Baekhyun had been a terrible mistake, Jongdae almost lands on his face if it weren’t for his husband catching him and dragging him to the bathroom. ‘Sorry.’ Jongdae mutters. Typically, Jongdae can bounce back after drinking as much as he did, but this time, he feels lethargic. He doesn’t like himself. Like he knows something bad is going to happen if he picks up his ass any faster and reality will give him the biggest lynching of his life. Baekhyun helps him in the shower, pecking his cheek and pulling the shower curtain closed.
Baekhyun can’t be all that mad right? He’s kissing Jongdae and treating him decently so that mean something.
Jongdae washes himself without a hitch. He’s getting a pep in his step, probably because Baekhyun shoved him in a cold shower and left him there to freeze. Who knows. But what Jongdae does know, is that he needs to talk to Baekhyun like he needs too like he should’ve done weeks ago.
He pulls on his favorite Captain America boxers (the ones that Baekhyun can’t resist) and pads his way to the living room, toweling his hair in the process so he doesn’t wet the carpet. It’s one less thing he’ll hear about later. Baekhyun is sitting in Jongdae’s recliner, wedding band off his finger, playing with it in his hands. Jongdae feels his world stop. Baekhyun can’t be leaving him after the little hiccup after they had last night, right?
Slipping the warm band back on his finger, Baekhyun looks at him with tears in his eyes. ‘We trust each other, right? I know we haven’t been married that long, but we’ve been together for four years. So there is some trust between us, right?’
Jongdae nods. He wants to say he knows where this conversation is going, but he can never be too sure.
‘When I tell you that I don’t worry about you going out with class mates, collegues, whatever, I mean it. I know you’ll come back to me in the end. Wear these ridiculous things-’ Baekhyun smiles and tugs at the blue and white elastic band of Jongdae’s boxers ‘-and cuddle me at the end of the night. You want to know why? It’s because I trust you Jongdae. I know you have a past-we all do. You know mine. But that doesn’t change the fact that the insecurities of our past is still here. Still present. I know they’re hard to get rid of. We’ve been down this road before.’ Refusing to let the tears fall, Baekhyun presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. Elbows on his knees and leans forward. His shoulders shake. Baekhyun refuses to let his insecurities hit him. It’s not about Baekhyun, it’s about making things right with Jongdae. ‘But we got rid of them right? With being open with one another and not holding anything back.’ He looks at Jongdae. He sees his hurt reflect in the latter’s eyes. Jongdae feels his pain. ‘So why stop now. Jongdae, why weren’t you open with me? I know your relationship with Wendy was difficult. Your scars were still fresh when we got together, but we need to fix this. We need to make things right. We need to trust again.’ His voice quivers, and Jongdae is stone. He wants to move, but Baekhyun’s words keep him grounded.
Where had they gone wrong? Why didn’t Jongdae trust his husband. His one true love that he knows won’t leave but yet he let his past get the better of him. He chooses his words carefully, ‘I trust you Baekhyun, it’s them I don’t trust. I get it now. There will be individuals who will try and take you away from me. But all I can do is trust you in doing the right thing. I was foolish. I admit. All of the times I was over protective, jealous, and downright rude to not only Yifan but Chanyeol too. I fucked up. I fucked up big time. And I will make it right.’ Jongdae’s words ring in Baekhyun’s head, and he lets the tears fall this time. Seeing Baekhyun in tears, Jongdae rushes to scoop his lover up, ignoring the returning throb in his head and the ache in his body.
‘I haven’t been the best husband to you since we came back from our honey moon, but I promise you my dear, that I will make it right again.’ Holding Baekhyun close while he cries breaks Jongdae’s heart. Baekhyun should never have to cry over Jongdae, even if it’s silly as being jealous. Jongdae hates himself for not taking Amber’s advice about talking to his love. He can’t dwell on the past now, he just has to look ahead, to see if there are problems that he can prevent.
Baekhyun feels relieved. He can finally talk to Jongdae, his best friend again. No more hiding, no more secrets. They can be open. And that’s what Baekhyun wanted the most. He admits, he’s foolish for not taking Kyungsoo’s guidance on being open with Jongdae in the first place. But now he can be. And that’s all that matters.
After Baekhyun’s hiccups die off, and he’s resting against his lover’s chest. ‘Come on darling, we need to get you fresh for bed, then I can make my wrongs right after some good sleep, yeah?’
‘Yeah.’ Baekhyun snivels, wiping his nose with his sweater sleeve. Jongdae carries him like he did the day they said their vows down the aisle. Bridal style. Laughing, Baekhyun reaches up to kiss Jongdae under his jaw like he did that day, and Jongdae can’t help but laugh either. It’s a rocky start for a marriage sure, but Jongdae knows that they can make any wrong things right.
‘Buy me a milkshake and call us friends again.’
‘What the fuck, Park? I accuse you of taking my best friend-my husband-and all you want is a milkshake? You know money can’t buy happiness.’
‘Yes it can. A milkshake is a damn good apology in my book. Now give me chocolate.’
Jongdae, Chanyeol and Yifan sit at Denny’s the following afternoon. Jongdae had called both of them in urgency, wanting to apologize for his actions as quickly as possible. Yifan accepted his apology with no extra wants, which he’s grateful for. Jongdae gave up his shift this evening to spend it at home. He wants to make the house spotless for Baekhyun, a show of appreciation of how much the older is to him.
‘Fine. Chocolate it is.’ Jongdae mumbles, ignoring the bright smile Chanyeol has on his face.
Title : We Can Learn to Love Again
Pairing : Baekhyun/Chen
Rating : R
Warning : Language?
Word count : 8924 words
Summary : Maybe getting married at a young age wasn’t the best of ideas.
Author note : I’d like to thank first of all the prompter for this wonderful prompt. I hope I did it justice in your eyes. I wish it was longer, but I’d rather give you something worth reading. I’d like to thank the mods for letting me join this fest (my second so far) and I had fun with this prompt, so thank you for letting me have it! I apologize for any mistakes that happen to be there. It was early in the morning when I proof read this so there might still be some in there. As always, give lots of love to all of the fics in the fest, not just mine!
It was a summer shotgun wedding, more or less. No extravagant dresses or tuxes. No bouquet of flowers that cost them both their paychecks to have someone to make. And no four-tiered cake that had little figurines of them on top holding hands. The wedding was perfect though. Just the two of them, the Justice of the Peace, and both sets of parents. Jongdae would say that the best part of the entire wedding would have been putting Baekhyun in his lap on the Harley and heading to the airport for their honeymoon in Wales. Baekhyun would ignore Jongdae and say something cheesy, like saying their vows was the best part. (That’s what they told their friends as soon as they got back from Wales.)
‘Why so young? You have a full life ahead of you! Party! Get drunk! Smoke weed I don’t know! But why get married right after graduating high school? Isn’t that a bit too much?’ Joonmyun worries the bottom of his lip as he talks to his two best friends as they sit across from each other at Denny’s. There they sit, hand in hand and Joonmyun can tell both of them are wearing their silver wedding bands.
‘Myunnie you know this! We’ve been dating for four years! After four years don’t you think it’s time to tie the knot?’ Jongdae smirks. Joonmyun groans and rubs his hands all over his face, officially giving up on his friends. Chanyeol comes by to half sit on his boyfriend’s lap and half sit on the booth.
‘Congrats guys, I’m proud of you. Now where are my god kids?’ Baekhyun rolls his eyes, Chanyeol can be so demanding sometimes.
‘Chanyeol we haven’t even been back from our honeymoon for two weeks and now you’re asking this shit? You greedy bastard.’
‘What can I say? I’m excited, I’ve always wanted to be an uncle or a god father. Yoona’s too busy playing paparazzi to realize my needs!’ Chanyeol drapes himself dramatically over the table. If Jongdae didn’t move his precious milkshake in time, he would’ve lost it. A shame it would have been, really. ‘So now my only hope is you guys.’
‘Chanyeol have you ever thought of having kids yourself?’ Baekhyun steals his husband’s chocolate milkshake and chugs it down. He knows he’ll be regretting it later.
‘I have. But the mere thought of having kids terrifies me. Borrowing them is so much better.’ Chanyeol says, matter-of-factly while squishing his face into the table.
Jongdae pouts at the loss of his milkshake, and flags down his waiter to bring him one more. Something different this time, something that Baekhyun hates so he won’t take it again and possibly kill his digestive system later. Strawberries? Yeah, he’ll go with strawberries.
Joonmyun takes a few swigs of his water and plays with the menu. ‘How will you guys do it? Going to school and being married I mean. You two are sharing a town home, and working full time to keep it.’
Jongdae slings an arm over his husband’s shoulder and takes his strawberry milkshake from their waiter. ‘We’ll make do. Isn’t it the whole point of living together and being married? Figuring each other out? Sure, I know we’ll have ups and downs. But that’s what makes this whole thing worth it.’ The older sighs at Jongdae’s words. Hopefully, Jongdae is right.
It’s the start of their first semester in school, and Jongdae can’t contain his excitement. He had classes this morning and Baekhyun had to get ready for work. Not only did he wake up early and abandon the warm morning cuddles, but he plastered kisses all over Baekhyun’s face (the side that wasn’t consumed by a pillow that is) and left his grumbling husband in the bed to make breakfast. He was in the middle of chopping bell peppers for omelets when Baekhyun emerges from their cave, cowlicks in his hair and rubs the sleep out of his eyes. The night shirt that he’s wearing is Jongdae’s Ironman shirt and Jongdae licks his lips. As much as he would want to take his husband while wearing his Ironman shirt, food is more important. Pouring a cup of coffee for his beloved, Jongdae kisses his lips.
‘Good morning, Princess Aurora.’ Jongdae cackles in laughter and barely misses Baekhyun’s pinch to the side.
‘Hurry up. I’m hungry. And make sure there’s bacon or ham in it too.’
Jongdae can only smile as his husband takes a seat at the bar.
He drops Baekhyun off first, their only transportation is Jongdae’s Harley (for now at least), and kisses his husband good-bye after Baekhyun slides off the motorbike. ‘Have fun at work! Tell all of the lovely cosmetic people I say hi!’ Jongdae kisses him again for good measure, pulling back and eyeing a man around their age smoking a cigarette checking Baekhyun out from head to toe. Mostly staring at the younger man’s ass. He had to be twenty-four, twenty-five perhaps if Jongdae had to guess. The fucker. A feeling that Jongdae thought that he would never encounter again bubbles to the surface. Caressing Baekhyun’s right shoulder with his left hand, Jongdae kisses Baekhyun’s cheek again, hoping Mr. Tall Creep and Blonde will get the memo. Nope. So Jongdae kisses Baekhyun’s left hand, making sure that the ring gleams in the sunlight. Now he’s got it.
‘Jongdae stop trying to be possessive. That’s just my manager, Yifan.’
‘Why the hell is he checking you out? And why the hell is he out here?’
‘That first question I can answer for you. He’s looking for a good ass to fuck. He knows he can’t have mine, because I told him before we left to tie the knot I was engaged, that can’t stop him from looking though. You know how single men are around the age of twenty-five.’ Baekhyun chooses to ignore the obnoxious possessive look in Jongdae’s eye. ‘That second question is because he’s on his smoke break. He’s here early to remodel the floor and takes his break around this time.’ Jongdae can’t help the jealous and stingy feelings that he has when it comes to Baekhyun. He doesn’t doubt his husband will stray from him. He worries that others will take advantage of his kindness. That’s all. Yeah.
Jongdae chews his bottom lip and relaxes his shoulders in defeat. Perhaps he’s being a little too overprotective? Nah, it’s okay. Baekhyun’s probably overreacting, again. ‘Go clock in. Look good. Make lots of money.’ Jongdae’s lips curl in a smile. With another roll of his eyes, Baekhyun waves him off. Not without another kiss of course. Jongdae stays until he sees his significant other through the door, a small smile on his face. Yifan nods back at Jongdae, taking a long drag out of his cigarette and Jongdae can only scowl. Revving the engine of the Harley to life, Jongdae tears out of the parking lot.
His first class wasn’t so bad, filled with one or two old high school friends who also decided to take the Advanced Mandarin course. Day one was considered ‘boring’ in most students (read: Baekhyun’s) books, but Jongdae really enjoyed learning about his professors. He liked the class and the professor, really. Professor Zhang preferred to be called by his first name, Yixing, and he has a child of his own, Zitao. Two pictures sit on his desk, one of his family and one of his son, Jongdae admires that. Yixing also had forewarned them that he had graduated but a year ago, and Jongdae had spoken his mind saying that it shouldn’t be a problem. After taking a few moments to go over the semester, Yixing plowed right into lecture.
It’s a struggle getting pages and pages of notes into his Mandarin book while trying to walk from building to building on campus. Two five paged papers hand written already due for his Mandarin class, Jongdae can already feel the stress that’s about to take over for the next forty-eight hours. He’ll manage though.
His second class is less than exiting, however, and it’s math. Jongdae hates math. Ever since he couldn’t memorize his multiplication tables right in third grade, math has been a struggle for him. The worse part was it only got harder. Rushing into the classroom, Jongdae starts to wheeze as he places his Mandarin book on the desk and organizes his belongings before putting the textbook away and replaces it with a monstrous Calculus book. Fuck math.
He's the only one in there for now, except for his professor who’s typing away at his desk top. She greeted him once he entered, but nevertheless was continuously typing as she brought her attention to Jongdae. He fishes out his phone to send Baekhyun a text. It’s nearing lunch, and Baekhyun won’t have a lunch break until two, but the thought still counts, right?
Text me when ur on break. Miss u.
The moment he sets his phone down it pings. I’ll be off in thirty. This surprises Jongdae, Baekhyun rarely takes early breaks. Aren’t you supposed to be in class?
Jongdae snorts. Im waitin for class to start, lol. I had mandarin this morning and now i have math.
Ooh, fun. I’ll text you later, I gotta go okay? Love you.
His heart flutters as he reads Baekhyun’s text. Love you too. He plays with his wedding band as more adults file in through the door way, picking a seat mostly towards the back, Jongdae feels put out for picking a seat near the front, but he didn’t bring his glasses today and if he sat back there his eye sight will kill him.
Between the droning from Professor Victoria about boring ass equations and occupying his mind by doodling on his graph paper, his phone vibrates again. Luckily, Professor Victoria is one of those professors who doesn’t care if a student has their phone out. You paid for the class, it’s not my financial aid that gets fucked over if I fail this class. She reasoned. A good point, Jongdae might add.
You still in class? Oh, precious Baekhyun,
i am. i wish i wasnt. class is boring as shit
Aw I’m sorry my love. I had just wanted to tell you that I was able to get off early. I spoke to Yifan about needed to get the new townhouse in order and he volunteered (Jongdae wants to bless that man now. They’ve been in their new house since they’ve been back and the house still isn’t unpacked.) so I’ll be taking the metro home. I’ll have dinner ready to go by the time you get back so you don’t have to spend money out :)
Has Jongdae mentioned he loves it when Baekhyun texts emoji’s? Well, he does, because his husband never uses emoji’s. Like ever.
ur so sweet darling. i knew there was a reason why i kept you. what time are you leaving?
2, so when your next class starts.
Jongdae if his next class wasn’t one of his favorites, he’d skip. But then he’d hear it from Baekhyun- Skipping on the first day isn’t the wisest thing to do my love. So he’ll stick out his Music Ed class and get home to Baekhyun in time to eat before his shift starts at the restaurant.
Amber is a boisterous professor. Loud, obnoxious, easy to get along with-one thing that Jongdae likes-but is excellent at what she does. She also has a crazy memory. Amber knows ninety percent of the class after she calls roll. She’s not much older than them, mid-twenties, is all she told them, nothing more. ‘You never ask a lady her age, Joonmyun.’ She picks and prods at Jongdae’s friend for the rest of the day. Jongdae plays along with her. They start easy, learning the basics of the piano-Jongdae should know. He’s played keyboard and piano for both the band and orchestra in high school. At one point he picked the tenor saxophone that he put down to play piano back up again and sat at the head of his row. Which made two tenor sax players at the time, he and Chanyeol. Chanyeol was put out when Jongdae returned, and is still butt hurt about it until this day.
They go through simple routines, arpeggios and scales-both major and minor, to get the new comers in the swing of things and returning piano players back in shape. The group goes through different times, tempos and snippets of musical pieces (Tchaikovsky will always be Jongdae’s favorite). Through transitions Jongdae checks his phone to see if Baekhyun has texted him to see if he made it home, which he hasn’t. He grows worried, looking at the time it’s nearing three. Jongdae goes through the routes in his head to get an accurate time of which Baekhyun should have made it home, the taxi drive to the town home and all. He should have been there by now. Joonmyun can sense Jongdae’s anxiousness on the piano bench next to him. ‘Jongdae what’s wrong?’
‘Baekhyun should have been home by now, he said that he got off early-at two-and would take the metro home. It takes twenty minutes on the metro from the boutique to our side of town-including stops and another ten from the city to the town home in the suburbs. How isn’t he home?’
‘Jongdae there’s probably a lot of traffic.’
‘On a Monday?’
‘You can never know with these things Dae. An accident might have disrupted their route or the metro is taking too long to board people. I’m sure there’s a reason Jongdae.’
Jongdae nods to his friend, absentmindedly going up and down his major scales in break neck speed, but his eagerness and anxiousness doesn’t let up.
Class ends and Jongdae nearly flies out the door. ‘Jongdae.’ Amber’s word is short, soft, like she wants to discuss something personal.
Jongdae wants to die. ‘Yes, Professor?’
‘Please. Amber. Calling me professor reminds me that I graduated four years ago. Tell me, what’s troubling you. I saw you were talking to Joonmyun while almost beating the shit out of my piano while trying to go through your scales.’
‘My husband just didn’t let me know if he had arrived at the house or not. I’m sure he’s made it and forgot.’ Jongdae’s smile is tight lipped. Amber senses Jongdae’s anxiety and stress like Joonmyun had.
‘Well…alright. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. I don’t need a student have a meltdown on the first day. For my sanity and theirs as well.’ Amber smiles, as she sits Indian style on her desk.
Jongdae genuinely laughs. ‘Thanks prof-Amber. I need to get home, please? Just so I can make sure that he’s okay.’
‘I’m sure he is Jongdae, don’t stress so much.’ She eyes him as Jongdae slides on his leather fingerless biking gloves. ‘Be careful going home okay?’
‘I always do Amber.’
Jongdae may have went ten over the speed limit down the high way to get back home. Their university was in the city, but their home was ten minutes from town and he made it there in five. Or four. Jongdae wasn’t looking at the clock as he hit eighty. Bursting through the door he barely hangs his back pack on the wall hook and toe his shoes off as he fumbles into the kitchen to see Baekhyun frying fajita’s on a skillet. Bakehyun jumps to see Jongdae rush in. ‘What the-Kim Jongdae what on Earth is wrong with you?’ He yells when Jongdae collides with him. One hand caressing his back and one hand gripping his side.
‘You didn’t text me when you got home so I thought something happened…’
‘For Christ’s sakes Jongdae I was busy unpacking! That was the whole reason why I asked to get off early in the first place, honestly do you think I would be stupid enough to let something bad happen to me?’
‘No but-’
‘But nothing my love. You have been acting strange today since you saw Yifan. Tell me, what’s on your mind?’
Jongdae curls into Baekhyun even more, following his movements as Baekhyun reaches to turn off the stove and let the peppers, onions, and steak cool down a bit before eating. ‘Nothing baby, I’m just…overreacting, I guess.’ Jongdae mumbles into the junction of Baekhyun’s neck and shoulder.
Baekhyun knows that prying things out of his husband will get him nowhere. He leaves it alone for now. ‘Okay my love.’
Jongdae says nothing, just rubs his gloved hands under Baekhyun’s shirt, feeling, caressing his skin. He needs this security of touching his husband. ‘Let’s eat.’ Jongdae pulls away and smiles, again, tight lipped but a smile nonetheless. Baekhyun knows something is chewing at Jongdae’s mind. He’s made the same face before when Jongdae would shut his feelings inside himself.
‘Fine, then we can shower so I can get ready for class and freshen you up for work.’
This seems to lift Jongdae’s spirits. ‘You had me at shower.’
Baekhyun laughs and slaps Jongdae’s chest. ‘You insufferable man.’
With bellies full and bodies (mostly) clean, Jongdae is in the middle of buttoning up his shirt for work, a nice deep teal today, and tucking it in his pants when Baekhyun sneaks up behind him to smack his ass with a belt.
‘Hey!’ He yelps.
‘That was for Wales, when you thought it was hilarious to smack my ass outside of that pub and you had all the drunken grandma’s wolf whistling and hollering.’
‘Ooooh about how I needed to do it again so I did but it was to the other cheek and they were asking if we were going to…how’d they call it? Do the do?’
Baekhyun hangs his head in defeat, and sighs. ‘Yes.’ He leaves the room, but not without another blow to Jongdae’s ass, leaving the black leather belt on the bed.
Jongdae smiles, wondering what he’s gotten himself into. He slips his belt through the loops of his slacks and walks out of the bedroom. He spies Baekhyun curled on the L-shaped couch with three fuzzy throw blankets and Jongdae’s Slytherin themed mug of steaming hot chocolate. Baekhyun has a little bit of down time before his classes start. Rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, Jongdae reaches down to peck a chaste kiss on his husband’s head and noses at Baekhyun’s cheek. ‘You’re watching The Sorcerer’s Stone again?’ Jongdae chuckles at the pout he receives.
‘It’s my comfort movie, so what?’
‘I’m only teasing, God, have fun tonight in class. Text me please when you get there.’ Baekhyun can see through Jongdae’s smile. He’s worrying.
‘Don’t worry, Dae. I’ll send you a text message.’ He doesn’t know what’s gotten into his husband today, but he needs to get to the bottom of it.
Kissing Baekhyun one last time, Jongdae walks into the kitchen in the next room over to grab the Harley keys off the hooks and bellows out, ‘I love you Baekhyunnie!’ and slams the door shut, knowing Baekhyun has his eyes rolling.
Jongdae’s normally not like this. This bubbly feeling that one minute Baekhyun is going to leave him for someone else. He doesn’t want to put it all on Yifan’s encounter, but somehow, that triggered something dark in Jongdae’s brain that had been tucked away for years. It’s been weeks since Jongdae’s strange behavior, and it’s only increased as days went on. Baekhyun notices that everything that Jongdae does is a little more possessive, a little clingier. See, prior to their marriage, Baekhyun and Jongdae had no fights, no talks about cheating or one leaving the other without having a long discussion before breaking their relationship apart. Jongdae knew that Baekhyun wouldn’t leave him for The male cheerleader of the cheer squad, no matter how much Baekhyun would be in the stands of the football game, clinging to his clarinet like his life depended on it and would squeal in Jongdae’s ear as Jongin or Sehun would score yet another touchdown. ‘Look at him Dae! You can clearly see Zitao’s biceps through the long sleeve shirt, holy Christ!’ Baekhyun knew that Jongdae wouldn’t leave him for Yongguk, no matter how many dance, piano or vocal recitals they went to, completely wooed over how ‘His fingers fly over the piano keys’ as Youngguk effortlessly recalls a Beethoven symphony or how his body moves on stage- ‘Oh my god did you see those body rolls?’- with the dance class. There wasn’t any room for discussion because no matter how much the two boys would gush about their crush; they would always stay true. It’s been weeks since the incident with Yifan, and Jongdae has went up to the man willingly and apologized for his behavior, but something still can’t shake off Jongdae. A dark and familiar feeling rising in his chest.
Why, after four years of being together had they not worry about this? Why after four years had they not have this discussion? Is it just certain insecurities that somehow surfaced? Or is Jongdae truly scared that Baekhyun will disappear if he finds someone better than Jongdae? It eats at him in the middle of music class. Fingers itching to reach his phone so he can text Baekhyun but he knows he can’t. Baekhyun isn’t on break and Amber won’t give them one either. For an hour the class has been plucking at guitars, and Jongdae still can’t get the chord progression right (he’s never been good at the instrument, Chanyeol’s tried to teach him in their free time but he and guitar don’t mix. His anxiety isn’t helping.) Amber keeps him on his toes, whenever he dives for his phone in his backpack she calls on him to try and play a few warm up bars in their beginners’ book. Five minutes later, he’s still unsuccessful. He does get a break after class, seeing that Baekhyun did text him; sent him a picture that is. He’s holding the phone at an adorable angle that shows the ramyun he’s eating and the middle aged woman who runs the noodle shop down the road from their place. He’s wearing Jongdae’s favorite lavender polo shirt with khaki’s and a dark brown belt to match. He’s too cute. Baekhyun texts him again. Auntie told me to say she misses you, says she says I look strange without you by my side. Jongdae grins from ear to ear and starts to type out a reply when he gets another message. She’s pulling a Chanyeol, she’s demanding kids. At this Jongdae laughs. They’ve been regulars at her shop since they moved into their townhome, and she’s been nothing but kind to them. ‘Seeing a young couple happy is so rare these days, I enjoy it while I can.’ The children she has left without a trace, going out of the country and never talking to her again, so, she claims the young wedded couple her own. Tiffany has expressed each time they come in if they need someone to talk to that isn’t their friends or need some advice, she’ll be more than happy to lend an ear. A light goes off in Jongdae’s head. Perhaps she will have an answer to his dilemma.
Snapping fingers bring him back to reality. ‘Oh good, I thought you were a goner for a long minute there.’ Amber’s beautiful face graces his view-a little too closely he might add and Jongdae’s startled.
‘Yes?’
‘You were so deep in thought I had to break you out of it. I was starting to worry I was going to lose you.’ Amber’s smile catches Jongdae off guard. It’s radiant and Jongdae wonders if he’s noticed how admirable she is before.
‘I’m having troubles.’ Is all he says, trying to keep up with his brain process that he thought that his professor is gorgeous.
‘Hubby troubles?’
‘Something of the sort. Say, you’re a beautiful woman, have you been in multiple relationships?’ Maybe Amber will lend him a hand so he won’t bug Aunt Tiffany later. And yet he might still go see her, just to keep her company. Amber blinks multiple times before answering.
‘I have, why the sudden interest.’ It takes her a moment to process. ‘Don’t tell me you’re leaving Baekhyun and want to start a life with me! Honestly Jongdae,’ she places a hand on his knee. ‘As drop dead gorgeous as you are, we both know that we’re not straight, so please, don’t try.’
Jongdae’s laughing before Amber can finish her soap opera, ‘No, Amber, I’m not. Actually, I was wondering if you could help me sort something out.’ He takes her back to the first day of school, the encounter of Yifan and the darkness that has been prodding at him since then.
Amber nods her head in recognition of this. ‘You’re insecure Jongdae, that’s all. The jealousy and possessiveness you show each day-the constant texting or calling, the holding of hands in public-you’re terrified that he’s going to leave. That one day he’s going to find someone that he sees is better than you and go. You’re so insecure that you need physical reassurance.’
Jongdae doesn’t know what to say. How could she pin point that just like that? ‘How can you tell?’
‘Like I said I’ve had multiple relationships. I was the one to hold on to the girls too tight, but Jongdae I know you want to be good to Baekhyun, to protect and provide, but, holding him too close could be the downfall, it was for me. The only thing that concerns me is that an insecurity like this doesn’t just come from one encounter, it has to come from a previous relationship. Tell me Jongdae, what happened in your relationship before Baekhyun?’ And so, Jongdae opens up the floodgates.
He gets home right before Baekhyun has to leave for school, he has the night off, so he has the rest of the evening to worry about pretty much nothing. Except the pile of laundry that’s slowly morphing into a mountain at the corner of their room. Jongdae makes a mental note to get started on that. His eyes are swollen and nose is clogged. He told his professor a side of his past that he hasn’t told Baekhyun yet, hell even Joonmyun or Chanyeol. So many bad memories of her and how she built his walls up just to tear them all down and leave him for the biggest jackass the junior high school has ever known. Jongdae had attempted the tears to stop, to go away, but he knew just as well as Amber that it was to be expected, and she lent a shoulder for him to snot and cry on. Hugs included.
Baekhyun tumbles out of their room in a haste, panic written all over his face and barrels into Jongdae’s chest without a warm welcome. ‘You didn’t text me back after class and it’s been two hours since school ended. Honey what’s wrong?’ Concern is etched into every crevice of Baekhyun’s face and Jongdae wills himself not to burst into tears again. He moves his hands to cup Baekhyun’s face and kiss the mole on his husband’s upper lip. It is one of Jongdae’s favorite things about the love of his life. Kissing Baekhyun on the lips, Jongdae pulls him into a long, well deserved hug. ‘I was talking to one of my professors. I asked her what I should do for our one-month anniversary coming up and she suggested a few things.’ He tries not to sound congested when he inhales.
‘Why do you sound cloggy? Your chest sounds heavy like you’ve been crying for hours. Fuck Jongdae, did planning our one month really take a toll on you? I don’t want it to be stressful on you. I know our school schedules and work schedules don’t mix so it’s already stressful but come on Jongdae-please, don’t make it any harder on yourself. Your constant anxiety can’t take it. I don’t want you to go through another attack. Not after the last one.’ It’s Baekhyun’s turn to cup and hold Jongdae’s face, peppering kisses all over his husband’s face. He wants to talk about his insecurities with Baekhyun like Amber had advised him after his snot fest, but he knows that the wounds of his past relationship are too vulnerable. He needs them to heal before opening them up again. It won’t hurt as bad.
‘Baek it’s been years since my last attack. I’m okay I promise. Amber’s suggestions were must helpful, so I might go with one of her ideas.’
‘Why can’t you come up with your own?’ Baekhyun cackles.
‘Hello? Were you not here for the past four years? We’ve done everything I can think of. I’d ask Joon or Chan but they’re too busy trying to sex each other on the regular I give up on them. Someone older is easier to get advice from.’
Baekhyun rolls his eyes as Jongdae’s lame excuse. ‘I hope Amber’s advice is good enough to woo my pants off.’
A dinner date, to one of the finest restaurants in town, followed by…well…Baekhyun isn’t sure what Jongdae has planned next. He told Baekhyun that he needed to dress a little formal, nothing too professional but the restaurant they will be going to is indeed, classy.
‘I don’t see why you’re fretting. It’s just a dinner date.’
‘To a really nice restaurant that will cost one of Jongdae’s paychecks.’ Bakehyun practically screams into the phone. Kyungsoo has to hold his phone away in order to not blow his eardrum. ‘I don’t know why Jongdae has been so…protective of me lately. Before the wedding we had no problems, we would give each other space and would be fine but now he’s practically attached to my hip. And now, he’s spoiling me. He knows I can’t stand to be spoiled.’ He sits on the edge of the bed, digging his palms into his eyes after putting Kyungsoo on speaker and setting the phone down next to him.
‘Kim Baekhyun you’re over reacting. Jest accept the really fancy dinner that he’s taking you too, shit, if Minseok took me out to a fancy dinner once in a while that would be fantastic.’
‘But you have kids, Kyungsoo, you have a legitimate excuse not to go out, I would be fine with a romantic dinner at home, the cliché spaghetti and wine combo you know? I just don’t know what’s got into him thinking that we need to go out on fancy dates.’
Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo’s rolling his eyes. ‘Perhaps you should ask him. The two of you know that you two can’t afford something like this. If his clinginess is bothering you on top of that you need to talk to him. Just being together won’t sort itself out on its own Baekhyun. Minseok and I have been down that road as well. So please, just talk to him.’
Kyungsoo’s right, all he has to do is sort things out with Jongdae and everything will be okay.
Baekhyun can’t shake the feeling that something bad is going to happen. It’s tension that’s coiled in his gut and it won’t let go. He sits at the table for two, Jongdae had ordered a glass of red wine for himself and a glass of white for Baekhyun. Baekhyun finds it endearing that Jongdae doesn’t even have to ask what Baekhyun would like anymore, he just knows. Anxiety nips at Baekhyun’s heels and he just wants to talk to Jongdae to get this over with but at the same time he knows he can’t. Tonight is supposed to be a night sans drama. He was able to hold himself from blurting out anything related to drama through two courses, he can last one more. He collects himself, and wills the uneasy feeling down as Jongdae spoon feeds him another bite of tiramisu. Another of Baekhyun’s favorite.
Staring into Jongdae’s eyes he knows there’s something boiling inside his husband’s brain. He can read Jongdae like a book. The anxiety in Jongdae’s eyes is unnerving and he knows that Baekhyun knows that something’s troubling Jongdae. He tries to distract himself with his wine. ‘Jongdae, tell me.’
Wringing out his hands nervously, Jongdae places his hand over his beloved’s, his other hand playing with the stem on his glass. ‘It’s nothing dear, school’s gotten me all shook up that’s all.’ This doesn’t startle Baekhyun. Both he and Jongdae have been too busy throwing their heads in textbooks, they help one another study, which is a plus on Jongdae’s behalf, math and music theory have been a pain in his ass so far. Baekhyun knows that something else is up, the pressure and anxiousness etched on Jongdae’s fine features is an indication. Baekhyun doesn’t press it though. There is a time and a place for everything, Kyungsoo told him before hanging up that evening. Smoothing out the edges of his steel blue button down shirt (one of the many few that he owns), Jongdae fishes something out from his pocket and slides it on the table. It’s no bigger than a ring box, and Baekhyun can’t imagine why Jongdae would ever buy him another ring. Two was the number of rings that Baekhyun had wanted. And he got those two.
‘I know you like the cliché romantic dinners at fancy restaurants, and nothing more, but when I stopped by your work the other day before your shift ended, Yifan helped me pick this out for you. He said you had been eyeing it at the jewelry counter for a while now.’ Baekhyun knows exactly what he’s talking about. The silver bracelet that’s clasped together with an infinity sign and Jongdae’s birth stone with alternating diamonds are placed around the sterling silver. He knows what the price tag is on it too.
‘Dae, you shouldn’t have.’ Baekhyun was never one to get all emotional, especially over something as simple as jewelry, but he can’t help but feel the swell of love that bloats in his chest.
‘I wanted too. I know it was pricey but that’s why I was working later this past week so I could have that money to spend on you and your evening out. I want to spoil you for once, dammit.’ Jongdae breaks out in laughs.
Perhaps Baekhyun was overthinking things, about how Jongdae was being overprotective and shit. Maybe it’s just a kink in their early relationship that works out on its own because he knows that Possessive Jongdae would never go out of his way to treat him like this. Never in his life. Perhaps Kyungsoo is wrong, perhaps that if Baekhyun lets the situation be, in a few weeks, this whole showing out when other men are around or the controlling demeanor in bed will thin out.
He lets it be. For four weeks and Baekhyun has watched from the sidelines how Jongdae slowly changes his personality in public. He truly sees how Jongdae can get nasty for the first time.
It’s Jongdae’s twentieth birthday and he, Baekhyun, and a group of friends go out for a night of fun. They raid Jongdae’s cousin, Minseok’s house, who was all smiles and warm welcomes when the seven of them pile in, Baekhyun had extended the invitation to Yifan, he takes in consideration that the older male and he are close friends. Yifan has extended his hand to Baekhyun when the latter is doing his English homework on break. I know your husband hates my guts right now because he’s a jealous little shit, but I can’t stand to see a friend fail. Four beers and a shot of Patron later Baekhyun can’t really tell what was up from down. He feels sleepy, so he leans on the nearest person to his right and feels a long arm-What this isn’t Jongdae but I can’t complain because I’m comfy-drape around his shoulders.
His source of warmth and security leaves him in a heartbeat and he almost falls off the bar stool he had been leaning so hard. Muddled shouting rings through Baekhyun’s ears and he turns around to see his husband and Chanyeol having a face-to-chest shouting match.
‘Jongdae why are you freaking out it’s me, your all-time best friend and best man at your fucking wedding. Why the fuck are you accusing me of stealing your husband when he was the one who leaned on me because he’s trashed?’ Chanyeol’s cheeks start to burn, and he’s pretty sure that it’s not because of the alcohol in his system. It baffles him that Jongdae of all people would be jealous because Baekhyun leaned against him. Of all people, Jongdae should know that Baekhyun gets clingy when he drinks. He looks too far gone to care though. Minseok jumps from his seat to grab Jongdae by the arms, attempting to pull him outside, but Jongdae resists, having the need to jump Chanyeol.
It’s like the little green monster has permanently taken over. Fire burns in Jongdae’s eyes. ‘You wanted him this whole time fucker! Just like everyone else! I see the way you look at him. I bet you’d leave Joonmyun in a heartbeat because you think Baekhyun looks better than he does, doesn’t he? You think he’ll be better in bed, huh? Or do you want to win him over from me and make my life miserable just like how I lost her-’ Chanyeol shouldn’t get worked up over the nonsense that Jongdae is sputtering, but the rage in his chest doesn’t calm down and he doesn’t stop the fist from colliding with Jongdae’s face. As much as Chanyeol loves Jongdae, he also hates Jongdae too. The perks of being childhood friends.
Baekhyun gasps as he sees his husband hit the floor, Zitao pulls Chanyeol out to cool him down, Kyungsoo and Joonmyun in tow. Others rush to Jongdae’s aid and Baekhyun sits there, thinking. So this is what it was all about. Jongdae thinks that Baekhyun will leave him because he found someone better. He can’t believe it. He doubts Baekhyun will stay with him. Slipping down from the bar stool, he thinks of all the conversation that he’ll have with Jongdae, but his head is throbbing and it’s too much for his inebriated self to handle right now. His mind is swirling with thoughts of, Is Jongdae just saying this because he’s drunk or is it because he’s been having these insecurities since they’ve been back from the honey moon?
He leans against Lu Han, an abroad student who is studying early childhood education just like he, and sighs. The more he thinks about this situation the more his head pounds. ‘You need to take Jongdae home. Neither of you can walk so I’ll take you two okay? Just let me call Jongin really quick to let him know I’ll be later than planned.’ Baekhyun is thankful for his classmate. He leans off of Lu Han so the latter can make his phone call, and shuffles his way to Jongdae. Yifan had managed to pull him off the ground with one arm and keep Jongdae steady with the other. The moment Jongdae was on his feet he started swaying. Baekhyun huffs. Tonight is going to be a long night.
The car ride back home was quiet. Jongdae and Baekhyun sat in the back seat of Lu Han’s Jeep, Jongdae’s head in his husband’s lap, asleep. Before their departure, Baekhyun had apologized for his husband’s behavior, to the group really, he was ashamed that he let Jongdae get out of hand. His apologies were accepted, and Chanyeol pulled Baekhyun and Jongdae into a bone crushing hug. ‘I shouldn’t’ve let you get to me. You’re drunk and you don’t filter what you say, bastard.’ Jongdae says nothing, eyes blank and frown on his lips. Baekhyun hugs Chanyeol back, ignoring the growl coming from Jongdae, who earned a slap on the head from Kyungsoo. ‘Cut it out.’ Is all he says. He tells that to his four-year-old when she gets out of hand. Baekhyun has always loved Irene, they’re one in the same.
Baekhyun cards his fingers through Jongdae’s locks, scratching his scalp once in a while, and smiles a little when he sees Jongdae grin in his sleep. But he can’t help the tears that prick his eyes when he thinks of what the younger had screamed about. ‘Tell me why Jongdae acted like that tonight. He said something about a girl.’ Lu Han must be telepathic or something.
Baekhyun huffs out a short breath. It sounded like a laugh to Lu Han, but he knows better. ‘Yerim and Jongdae were a thing freshman year. You know how high schoolers are, especially at fifteen, nothing but gossip and rumors. Three months into their relationship, Jongdae was on cloud nine, he was so high on the thought that he had a girlfriend he ignored the rumors and gossip about Yerim sleeping with someone, someone close to Jongdae. It was their sixth month anniversary when Jongdae found the shocking truth that Yerim had, in fact been cheating on him. She snuck into Sehun’s pants after biology, Sehun was the most well-known playboy in the school you know, and Jongdae wanted to surprise her by showing up with all sorts of presents and caught them making out. Jongdae’s never been the same sense.’ Baekhyun feels like sobbing. He should’ve seen this coming. Yet, he was ignorant enough to push it aside.
‘Sehun…wait are we talking about Kyungsoo’s Sehun?’ Baekhyun snorts out a laugh.
‘Yes Kyungsoo’s Sehun. Ever since that day he’s never been the same either. Something sparked in Sehun that sleeping around will get him nowhere but trouble. And look where he is now.’
‘In a long term relationship and a daughter that gives a run for his money.’ Baekhyun pulls in a shaky breath. He remembers the bright grin Sehun had when he showed Baekhyun the signed documents for Joonhyun their senior year. He also remembers the day they brought her home. The day of graduation Kyungsoo picked her up from her orphanage after returning her paperwork, before the ceremony, and sat close to the graduates. Sehun had the surprise of a life time when Joonhyun called him from her seat on Kyungsoo’s lap.
His hand stops petting Jongdae in favor of remembering the last year of his high school. Jongdae’s lips pull down, sensing that the comforts of Baekhyun fingers through his hair has stopped. Baekhyun grins sadly and starts again. I’m sorry my love for not talking about this before. It’s put a strain on our relationship and I was too stupid to ignore it. He leans down to kiss Jongdae’s head.
Getting Jongdae from the Jeep to the house wasn’t the problem. Getting Jongdae changed and on the bed was. Baekhyun claimed that he didn’t need help getting his husband out of his Kraken smelling clothes and onto their king sized mattress, but in reality he did. Jongdae weighs just as much as a baby elephant when he’s sleeping, and Baekhyun can’t figure out why. He never has. He looks like he weighs nothing but yet now Baekhyun can’t lift him up off the floor. Throwing Jongdae’s favorite soft blanket over his body, Baekhyun leaves his husband half naked on their bedroom floor.
Maybe he’ll wake up and realise he’s on the floor.
Wouldn’t that be something.
Tucking a pillow under Jongdae’s head Baekhyun has the urge to kiss Jongdae good night. But he doesn’t. Too much is swimming though his mind, too much to take in and too much to file through. He slouches on the couch after leaving his other half to sleep, he’ll call work in the morning to let them know his husband is sick and needs to be taken care of. Simple as that.
When he picks up his phone, a message sits in his inbox. I talked Daehyun into picking up your shift tomorrow. So don’t worry about it. Just focus on your Green Goblin induced husband, don’t be too harsh on him okay? Baekhyun rolls his eyes. Yifan is a life saver sometimes, he sends a message back telling him thank you, and that he owes both he and Daehyun lunch sometime.
Baekhyun doesn’t sleep that night. He sits in the recliner, dramas on the T.V but he doesn’t pay them any mind. He turns the silver wedding band on his finger over and over, thinking of how he’s going to talk about this with Jongdae in the morning. He can’t be rude, as much as he wants to be. To tell him how hurt he feels that Jongdae would think that he’d leave just like his first love. He wants to yell and cry and tell Jongdae that he’s a moron for thinking such things, but he can’t. He won’t. He loves Jongdae too much to act like that. At some point he questions himself, was Joonmyun right? Did they marry too early? Should they call it off? Try again when they’re more mature about being committed to themselves? Baekhyun also wonders if it’s really worth it going through all of this pain. Who’s to say if they fix what’s broken, that it won’t happen again. It terrifies Baekhyun. He has to make a decision. He has to make it fast. It’s early in the morning when Baekhyun peels himself off the couch, knowing that Jongdae’s head will be in pain when he wakes and will need care. Grabbing two chilled water bottles from the fridge and a bottle of pain killers, Baekhyun makes it back to their room. Jongdae’s already sitting up, head in his hands and shoulders shaking. Baekhyun can’t hear the sobs escaping his mouth, but he knows better than that.
He’s quiet when he makes his way over to Jongdae, a gentle caress of his shoulders Jongdae jumps and looks over his shoulder, Baekhyun melts. The redness in Jongdae’s eyes is a sight that he never wants to see. His nose is pink and Jongdae does his best to wipe the snot and tears off his face. He knows. He remembers what he shouted hours ago and it tears Baekhyun apart.
Jongdae opens his mouth to speak. He has to apologize for his behavior last night and make his relationship right with Baekhyun. Before he could get the chance to speak, however, Baekhyun snaps open the bottle of water and tilts it against Jongdae’s lips. ‘Come on, you need to rehydrate. Let’s get you showered, doped up and fed before we talk about anything.’ Jongdae drains the first bottle before taking any pain medication. He pops three pills, crushes the last bottle, and lets Baekhyun help him up off the floor. Jongdae shouldn’t need to be babied, he can hold his own.
‘I can do it, Baek please, let me walk.’ Letting go of Baekhyun had been a terrible mistake, Jongdae almost lands on his face if it weren’t for his husband catching him and dragging him to the bathroom. ‘Sorry.’ Jongdae mutters. Typically, Jongdae can bounce back after drinking as much as he did, but this time, he feels lethargic. He doesn’t like himself. Like he knows something bad is going to happen if he picks up his ass any faster and reality will give him the biggest lynching of his life. Baekhyun helps him in the shower, pecking his cheek and pulling the shower curtain closed.
Baekhyun can’t be all that mad right? He’s kissing Jongdae and treating him decently so that mean something.
Jongdae washes himself without a hitch. He’s getting a pep in his step, probably because Baekhyun shoved him in a cold shower and left him there to freeze. Who knows. But what Jongdae does know, is that he needs to talk to Baekhyun like he needs too like he should’ve done weeks ago.
He pulls on his favorite Captain America boxers (the ones that Baekhyun can’t resist) and pads his way to the living room, toweling his hair in the process so he doesn’t wet the carpet. It’s one less thing he’ll hear about later. Baekhyun is sitting in Jongdae’s recliner, wedding band off his finger, playing with it in his hands. Jongdae feels his world stop. Baekhyun can’t be leaving him after the little hiccup after they had last night, right?
Slipping the warm band back on his finger, Baekhyun looks at him with tears in his eyes. ‘We trust each other, right? I know we haven’t been married that long, but we’ve been together for four years. So there is some trust between us, right?’
Jongdae nods. He wants to say he knows where this conversation is going, but he can never be too sure.
‘When I tell you that I don’t worry about you going out with class mates, collegues, whatever, I mean it. I know you’ll come back to me in the end. Wear these ridiculous things-’ Baekhyun smiles and tugs at the blue and white elastic band of Jongdae’s boxers ‘-and cuddle me at the end of the night. You want to know why? It’s because I trust you Jongdae. I know you have a past-we all do. You know mine. But that doesn’t change the fact that the insecurities of our past is still here. Still present. I know they’re hard to get rid of. We’ve been down this road before.’ Refusing to let the tears fall, Baekhyun presses the heels of his hands into his eyes. Elbows on his knees and leans forward. His shoulders shake. Baekhyun refuses to let his insecurities hit him. It’s not about Baekhyun, it’s about making things right with Jongdae. ‘But we got rid of them right? With being open with one another and not holding anything back.’ He looks at Jongdae. He sees his hurt reflect in the latter’s eyes. Jongdae feels his pain. ‘So why stop now. Jongdae, why weren’t you open with me? I know your relationship with Wendy was difficult. Your scars were still fresh when we got together, but we need to fix this. We need to make things right. We need to trust again.’ His voice quivers, and Jongdae is stone. He wants to move, but Baekhyun’s words keep him grounded.
Where had they gone wrong? Why didn’t Jongdae trust his husband. His one true love that he knows won’t leave but yet he let his past get the better of him. He chooses his words carefully, ‘I trust you Baekhyun, it’s them I don’t trust. I get it now. There will be individuals who will try and take you away from me. But all I can do is trust you in doing the right thing. I was foolish. I admit. All of the times I was over protective, jealous, and downright rude to not only Yifan but Chanyeol too. I fucked up. I fucked up big time. And I will make it right.’ Jongdae’s words ring in Baekhyun’s head, and he lets the tears fall this time. Seeing Baekhyun in tears, Jongdae rushes to scoop his lover up, ignoring the returning throb in his head and the ache in his body.
‘I haven’t been the best husband to you since we came back from our honey moon, but I promise you my dear, that I will make it right again.’ Holding Baekhyun close while he cries breaks Jongdae’s heart. Baekhyun should never have to cry over Jongdae, even if it’s silly as being jealous. Jongdae hates himself for not taking Amber’s advice about talking to his love. He can’t dwell on the past now, he just has to look ahead, to see if there are problems that he can prevent.
Baekhyun feels relieved. He can finally talk to Jongdae, his best friend again. No more hiding, no more secrets. They can be open. And that’s what Baekhyun wanted the most. He admits, he’s foolish for not taking Kyungsoo’s guidance on being open with Jongdae in the first place. But now he can be. And that’s all that matters.
After Baekhyun’s hiccups die off, and he’s resting against his lover’s chest. ‘Come on darling, we need to get you fresh for bed, then I can make my wrongs right after some good sleep, yeah?’
‘Yeah.’ Baekhyun snivels, wiping his nose with his sweater sleeve. Jongdae carries him like he did the day they said their vows down the aisle. Bridal style. Laughing, Baekhyun reaches up to kiss Jongdae under his jaw like he did that day, and Jongdae can’t help but laugh either. It’s a rocky start for a marriage sure, but Jongdae knows that they can make any wrong things right.
‘Buy me a milkshake and call us friends again.’
‘What the fuck, Park? I accuse you of taking my best friend-my husband-and all you want is a milkshake? You know money can’t buy happiness.’
‘Yes it can. A milkshake is a damn good apology in my book. Now give me chocolate.’
Jongdae, Chanyeol and Yifan sit at Denny’s the following afternoon. Jongdae had called both of them in urgency, wanting to apologize for his actions as quickly as possible. Yifan accepted his apology with no extra wants, which he’s grateful for. Jongdae gave up his shift this evening to spend it at home. He wants to make the house spotless for Baekhyun, a show of appreciation of how much the older is to him.
‘Fine. Chocolate it is.’ Jongdae mumbles, ignoring the bright smile Chanyeol has on his face.
